Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Cincinnati Bengals Way

Chad Ochocinco signaled a new serious approach to football by indicating he will play the Patriot way. Hold on. Where the hell was this when he played for the Cincinnati Bengals? This has led me to think what is the Bengals way.

The Bengals Way is to...

LOSE. And by that I mean to lose in epic ways. Let me count the ways.

1. Hire Idiots for Coaches- Exhibit One. Dave Shula. Record was 19-53. Yeah, he had NFL DNA just like Bengals owner Mike Brown. And look where that's getting us.

2. Make Bonehead Draft Picks- See QB David Klingler, QB Akili Smith, WR Peter Warrick, OT Andre Smith.

3. Make Bonehead Free Agent Signings- DT Sam Adams. WR Antonio Bryant. The Bengals ate eight million dollars for a guy who didn't play a down. But my favorite stupid free agent signing was QB Gus Frerotte. This is the guy that hurt himself by head bumping a wall. Video below.

4. Make Stupid Mistakes- Trust me this will happen. There will be at least one game where the Bengals first play on offense will be an offsides penalty.

5. Snatch Defeat From The Jaws of Victory- See Tampa Bay Buccaneers game form last year. Bengals were up by seven with three minutes to play. The Bengals throw an interception. The Bucs take it in. The Bengals throw another pick. Field goal for the Bucs.

6. Heartbreaking turnover or mistake- Interceptions. Fumble at key moments in the game. Missed extra point. If you're a Bengals fan, there are too many to list.

Gus Frerotte headbumps a wall and hurts himself.

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