Sunday, September 29, 2013

Colbert nails Fox News "The Five" for comments on football safety

Wow. Leave it to Fox News to politicize safety rules to protect players against hits to the head. Here's Stephen Colbert with his Sport Report where he nails Fox News "The Five" for their idiotic comments.

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Stephen Colbert lampoons conservative authors writing children's books

Have you noticed that conservatives have been writing children's books to "educate" our youth of the conservative way of life? Here's Stephen Colbert to rip these guys and their time traveling fictional plot lines. Funny stuff.

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Jon Stewart rips Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas for marathon speech

Here's Jon Stewart of the Daily Show blasting Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas for his twenty some hour long speech opposing Obamacare. Get this. Cruz compared it to Nazi domination of Europe. The show also cuts some of the crazy sources that Cruz cites. I'll cut him some slack. If you're going to speak for twenty hours then you're going to cite some nutty stuff. But this was a monumental waste of time. Anyway, it's funny stuff from Stewart.

Reds stumble into playoffs

The Cincinnati Reds lost their last five games of the season. What does that mean? Well, it certainly stopped them from winning the Central Division. And by losing to the Pirates two out of three and getting swept by the Pittsburgh Pirates, they now must play a one game playoff with them in Pittsburgh. Not exactly momentum building.

Okay, so who starts for the Reds? Johnny Cueto. What? He's coming off an injury. One lost game and you're done. What about Mat Latos? Reds manager Dusty Baker better know what he's doing. UPDATE. It's being reported that Mat Latos has a bone chip in his right elbow. He won't pitch at the Wild Card playoff game. If the Reds win, Latos can pitch on Thursday.

Bengals lay a big brown one in Cleveland

In today's Cincinnati Bengals game with the Cleveland Browns, the Browns went into the game with a second string quarterback. They've just traded their to running back to the Indianapolis Colts. Looks pretty good for the men in stripes. Never underestimate the Bengals in finding ways to lose.

The Bengals offense was putrid. And the Browns' quarterback Brian Hoyer looked like Tom Brady. Okay, he wasn't that good but he made the plays when he had to. Bengals lose 17-6. Here's the story. I feel like throwing up.

Monday, September 23, 2013

The World's End Review

Make a movie about a middle age guy trying to recapture his youth, add booze and for good measure put in robots. You've got a movie made for my tribe which is the middle age man who drinks and is a geek that likes science fiction. The World's End is that movie.

At the beginning of The World's End we meet Gary King, an English teenager who leads a pack of school chums, Andy, Steve, Oliver and Peter. Like many kids about ready to enter their adulthood they like to drink. They attempt to make a legendary pub crawl of twelve bars in their small hometown of Newton Haven but fail. Flash forward about twenty years. Andy (Nick Frost), Steve (Paddy Considine), Oliver (Martin Freeman) and Peter (Eddie Marsan) are all middle age and responsible adults. Gary (Simon Pegg) on the other hand is the opposite. He's an alcoholic and has an aimless existence. He decides to get the band back together so they can finish the pub crawl with the last bar to have a drink at called The World's End. After they make their way through the first bars, Gary gets in fight with a teenager. He beheads him only to find out that the kid is a robot. They later find out that the village is full of them. The band is confronted with a choice. Finish the pub crawl or flee.

The World's End was written by director Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg. The jokes they wrote work because they feel like the characters would actually say them. Wright makes sure that you can hear the dialogue as conversations are not rushed. Unlike this year's This is the End, another apocalyptic comedy, The World's End has heart and is not ugly like that sarcastic Hollywood movie. My only problem with the movie is the abrupt change in plot, once Gary discovers there are robots in the town. As Oliver would say, "WTF." Thankfully, I knew about this surprise and anyone who knew anything about the movie knew that was coming.

The World's End is a funny and heartwarming black comedy. I laughed out loud many times. The grade is B Plus.

Bill Maher takes on Twitter haters

If you have ever participated on an internet forum, you'll notice the existence of haters and trolls. I wrote a piece on detecting trolls. Bill Maher takes on the haters in the last New Rule on his show Real Time. It's hilarious. Caution. The piece contains cuss words. From HBO and Mediaite, here's the funny piece.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Angry Bengals fans show their musical stupidity

It's being reported that some angry Cincinnati Bengals fans have demanded the team no longer play Katy Perry's "Roar" during player introductions. Here's the story. It indicates that these fans want a hard rock or classic rock song. But is the song that bad? I've posted it below.

The song's chorus is actually pretty good. It's the hook that works for the Bengals. it's memorable and gets your blood going. Here's the lyric.

"I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar."

I'm guessing these few angry fans are heavy metal or hard rock guys. You want to know something heavy metal Bengals fan? Why don't you listen to something that has melody and doesn't require somebody yelling at you with ear bleeding volume to keep your attention. Since the team is made up of mostly African Americans, I'm guessing they're not metal fans. The chorus or hook fits the Bengals. You do want a NFL championship?

Aasif Mandvi explains Indian dominance

Indian American Nina Davuluri has won the Miss American crown. Of course, that means the racists come out of the woodwork to spew their bile on the Internet. Thanks to Aasif Mandvi of the Daily Show who does this piece to get some revenge and remind us of the coming Indian dominance in American society. Hey, Aasif just don't do another Last Airbender movie.

Stephen Colbert on Republican efforts to kill Obamacare

Stephen Colbert takes on House Republican efforts to kill Obamacare with the threat of shutting down the government. Colbert than twerks with death to celebrate its demise. He also covers Florida's attempt to keep poor people from finding out about Obamacare. Thank you Stephen for helping us to laugh as conservative Republicans use a scorch earth policy to stop a law that has passed constitutional muster and will help insure healthcare for every citizen.

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Stephen Colbert covers pork laced bullets and George Clooney

Here's Stephen Colbert's latest Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger. He covers a company that produces pork laced bullets to fight Muslim extremists. You see they can't go to heaven if they have pork in their system. So an American company is producing pork laced bullets to kill them. Funny stuff. Colbert also covers actor George Clooney's attempts to track Sudan's dictator Omar al-Bashir's army with a satellite.

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Bengals win wild one; Reds destroy Pirates

Oh, me of little faith. After the Cincinnati Bengals turned the ball over on four straight possessions against the Green Bay Packers, I turned the channel to the Cincinnati Reds game. The Bengals then proceeded to blow a fourteen point lead. Yep, I said to myself, this is Bengals football. The Bengals went down by sixteen points in the third quarter.

Then it got stranger. Packers All Pro Quarterback Aaron Rodgers threw two interceptions. The Bengals magnificent defense held. And a forced fumble was recovered by Bengals cornerback Terence Newman who ran it back for a touchdown. Bengals win 34-30. WTF. I'll just say this. Thank God for the Bengals defense. Here's the story.

And oh yeah, the Cincinnati Reds won. They pummeled the Pittsburgh Pirates, 11-3. That puts them in a tie for second place in the National League Central with the Pirates. They are also tied for the first Wild Card position. There are six games left. The St. Louis Cardinals are currently 2.5 games ahead of both the Reds and the Pirates. This could be a wild one also. Here's the story.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Stephen Colbert rips conservative Fox News nut Neil Cavuto

Stephen Colbert took apart conservative Fox News nut Neil Cavuto who reported that the Syrian civil war is the precursor to a Biblical apocalypse. Funny stuff.

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Conservative Republicans threaten country with economic meltdown

They're at it again. Conservative Republicans have tied raising the debt ceiling to delaying the Affordable Care Act or Obamacare. Enough. The debt ceiling has nothing to do with new spending. It's about the ability of the United States to pay the debts it already owes. Defaulting on this is economic Armageddon. It hurts the country's credit and will likely send the world into recession or worse. Is the Republican dissent worth destroying the country? And to make matters worse, it's plan that comes from the right-wing House which has no chance of passing the Democratic Senate or being signed into law by President Obama. Stop it Republicans. Here's the story from the Huffington Post.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Bengals outlast Steelers

The Cincinnati Bengals defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers, their nemesis on Monday Night Football. The victory was at home where the Steelers usually humiliate the Bengals. The score was 20-10. But something felt different. The Bengals looked like they belonged on national TV. And they weren't intimidated by the Steelers. It wasn't a drubbing by the Bengals. It was close. But still, I had this feeling the Bengals would win. Solid defense. And Bengals QB Andy Dalton is beginning to look pretty good with all the weapons he has around him. Here's the story with video.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Stephen Colbert goes nuts over the Drudge Report's photoshopping of his image with Putin

The great thing about conservatives is that they give you so much fodder for comedy. Stephen Colbert went nuts when The Drudge Report photoshopped his image by replacing his head with that of Russian president Vladimir Putin. Later in the show, Colbert goes after Putin's op-ed piece in the New York Times.

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Jon Stewart rips Fox News over Syria

I'm at a bar, and one of the regulars attacks me with his conservative view that President Obama is being humiliated by Russia over Syria. As you know the Russians have suggested Syria give up it chemical weapons to avoid American bombing. I say to him, "Why do you care where a good idea comes from? Do you want to bomb Syria and kill people?" I then say you can't say Obama did one good thing. And he said yes. Look folks, I want to have a drink. Anyway, it occurred to me where he get his news. Fox News.

Here's Jon Stewart of the Daily Show. He destroys Fox News for their lack of neutrality because of President Obama. Who cares where a good idea comes from? By the way, Secretary of State John Kerry suggested this on September 9. Update: The U.S. and Russia have reached an agreement on how Syria can give up its chemical weapons.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Stephen Colbert rips crazy conservatives over Obama's Footgate

Conservatives have gone crazy over the photo of President Obama putting his foot on his desk in the Oval Office. Oh, the humanity. Stephen Colbert tears them a new one by mocking their insanity and also reminding the country that Republican presidents have also put their feet on the Oval Office desk. (Ford, W. Bush) Hilarious stuff from Colbert.

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The Daily Show covers the New York city Democratic primary

Bill de Blasio wins the Democratic primary for mayor. Jon Stewart has great fun with de Blasio's family. Yeah, that's one weird dance move by the clan. And his son sports an afro which is rare these days. And we get one final look at the gift from the comedy gods, Anthony Weiner. Here's the funny piece.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Stephen Colbert rips conservative love of Ronald Reagan

Conservatives have been coming out of the woodwork to say that their god, former President Ronald Reagan wouldn't act like President Obama over the Syria crisis. Stephen Colbert rips them a new one by showing how Reagan ignored Saddem Hussein's use of chemical weapons, and also raised taxes. Hilarious and educational.

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Monday, September 9, 2013

Reds sweep the Dodgers?!!!

This week was going to be a test for the Cincinnati Reds. First, they faced their National League Central nemesis, the St. Louis Cardinals. Now folks, the Cardinals own the Reds and were ahead of them in the division along with the Pirates. Reds take three of four.

Then came a three game set with he Los Angeles Dodgers. It's one of those teams that money has put together. I hate baseball's economics. But I digress. The Dodgers are perhaps the most talented team in major league baseball. They pretty much have the Western Division sewn up. I was not thinking sweep. Hopeful for two out of three. Could see losing two. But the Reds defy all odds. They took all three. Last night the Reds won in walk-off fashion. Reds catcher Ryan Hanigan doubles home Zack Cozart all the way from first in the bottom of the ninth. Reds win 3-2. The Reds now stand just one and a half games from first in the Central Division. They are tied for second. Here's the story from last night's game. And here's video of Hanigan's double to win the game.

Bengals bungle in Chicago

You watched Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Cincinnati Bengals. You think, "Wow, the Bengals look focused and are talented. This could be the year." Three dominating wins in preseason. Then comes the first real game of the season with the Chicago Bears. Eleven point lead by the Bengals evaporates.

The game featured your classic Bengals bungles. How about a big fumble in Bears territory? Done. Thanks to Mohamed Sanu. How about a bonehead penalty that seals the game for the Bears? See Rey Maualuga's stupid personal foul. Game over. Bengals lose 24-21. Here's the story. Here's 1530 ESPN's Lance McAlister's take.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Stephen Colbert lampoons the Couch Bunker

There's a product called the Couch Bunker which under the cushions can house guns. Oh, yeah the couch cushions are bullet proof. Sounds like something Stephen Colbert can make fun of. Check out his funny piece.

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Stephen Colbert destroys Fox News Eric Bolling

Let me say that Stephen Colbert is a good Catholic. He may take shots at his own faith but he also exudes its principles such as the sanctity of life. Here Stephen Colbert destroys Fox News Eric Bolling for asking prisoners of U.S. courts to commit suicide and save the taxpayers money. It's hilarious stuff.

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Stephen Colbert and the kitten hating Republican

Here's another comedy gift from the New York mayoral race besides Anthony Weiner. Kittens stop the subways. Republican mayoral candidate Joe Lhota wouldn't stop the trains for them. Great comedy fodder for Stephen Colbert.

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Jon Stewart gets a crack at Anthony Weiner

If you've been watching The Daily Show for the last three months, you know guest host John Oliver got a gift from the comedy gods in New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner. Now that Jon Stewart is back, he gets a crack at Anthony Weiner who seems intent on insulting every New Yorker. Yes, he's a liberal and we're being fair here. Funny is funny no matter who is the politician. Here Jon Stewart has great fun with the New York mayoral election.

The Daily Show and the mess in Syria

Here's Jon Stewart on the Daily Show covering the mess in Syria. Yes, it looks like we're going to bomb another country, Syria. At least, we can find some laughs from the Daily Show with a funny assist from John Oliver, playing the tone deaf British from the early twentieth century.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

America's Two Biggest Catholics

Tuesday night on the Colbert Report, the two biggest Catholics in America were featured. They are Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York and host Stephen Colbert. Here's Stephen Colbert's funny interview with Cardinal Dolan.

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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Shape of Things to Come

Yesterday, Billy Hamilton of the Cincinnati Reds came into run for Ryan Ludwick who singled. It's the seventh inning. In case you don't know, Billy Hamilton is one of the Reds hottest prospects. He's also fast. Very fast. Make that very, very fast. Well, he promptly stole second even though St. Louis Cardinals catcher Yadir Molina's throw beat him. His throw was wide probably due to Hamilton's speed. And you got to love what happens next, Reds fans. Third baseman Todd Frazier singled and Hamilton easily scored. The Reds went onto win the game, 1-0. It's the shape of things to come. Here's the video of the stolen base and Frazier's single.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Did the Bengals bungle the backup quarterback position?

The Cincinnati Bengals cut quarterback John Skelton who has a strong arm. That leaves them with just two quarterbacks. Andy Dalton and Josh Johnson. While I admire Johnson's ability to run the ball, during preseason he was carrying the ball like a loaf of bread. That led to a fumble. God forbid we see Johnson take snaps as a starter because that will mean Dalton is out with an injury. One thing in Johnson's favor is that he's familiar with offensive coordinator Jay Gruden's offense since both spent time with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

There's a story floating around that New York Jets quarterback Greg McElroy is headed to Cincinnati. There's a problem with this though. McElroy's injured. And while he might be close to coming back, I would prefer the Bengals sign a healthy quarterback to the practice squad. Here's one of those goofy Sports Science drills that McElroy aced.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

"Gravity" wows audience at Telluride Film Festival

Director Alfonso Cuaron (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) is taking a big risk with the space film Gravity. The reason? It's about two astronauts lost in space without their spaceship and a real chance of them dying. According to Yahoo, Cuaron may relax, the audience at Telluride Film Festival loved it. I saw a teaser for the movie and was enthralled by the energy and fear as two space walking astronauts are thrust from their tethers above the earth. Alone and abandoned. Here's that trailer.

Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie Harper reunite

Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie Harper will reunite on the finale for Hot in Cleveland this September 4, on TV Land. Harper is fighting terminal cancer. Not only will Harper be there but other stars from the Mary Tyler Moore Show will appear with them including Betty White, Georgia Engel and Cloris Leachman. Here's the story from the Huffington Post with pictures.

Some of you may be too young to remember The Mary Tyler Moore Show. It was a groundbreaking comedy about a single, urban professional woman. There's wasn't much on TV for strong woman characters in the early seventies. And The Mary Tyler Moore Show had a group of them. It was also a classic ensemble comedy about a struggling newsroom. Here's the first episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show courtesy of Hulu.

How to get L.A. Noire's Lead Foot Achievement easily

Are you having trouble getting L.A. Noire's Lead Foot Achievement? It requires you to maintain a speed of 80 mph for ten seconds. Running into too many other cars on the street? Here's an easy way of getting it done. Get a sports car or one of the fast hidden vehicles. A good one to get is he Cord 810 Softop; it's one of the hidden vehicles. Drive over to the Los Angeles river. I get there by Seventh street. I go down to the river and on top of the bank. I drive to one end of the river. Stay on the bank. I then floor it and travel down the river on the bank. No obstructions. You should get the achievement easily.

Are we Martians?

Dr. Steven Benner has a theory is that life on earth owes its existence to Mars. He made his theory public at the 2013 Goldschmidt Conference in Italy. The theory postulates that Martian bacteria that existed over three billion years ago hitched a ride on a meteorite to planet earth. Here's the story from The Huffington Post.

L.A. Noire is a game you should get

Here's a video game that is cheap and a lot of fun to play. It's L.A. Noire and it's a new classic. The game came out in 2011, so the price is no longer $59.00. At Best Buy's website you can get it for a mere $19.99.

L.A. Noire takes place in Los Angeles, 1947. You play cop, Cole Phelps, back from his service in World War II. At first you start out as a patrol officer but after a few tutorial missions you move up to detective. The bulk of the game play is solving crimes. But there's enough car chases, fist and gun fights to satisfy action junkies.

The title of the game and its ambiance takes inspiration from the film noir genre. If you like movies like The Big Sleep (1946), Farewell My Lovely (1975), Chinatown (1974) and L.A. Confidential (1997), you'll love L.A. Noire.

While the story takes place in 1947, the technology used to create it is cutting edge twenty first century. The motion scans of actors faces are simply amazing. Computer rendered faces have eye rolls, winks, crinkles and winces. There's one gun fight where Phelps takes cover and winces while being shot at. It's simply remarkable. The music on the radio is from the period. Whereas the soundtrack is orchestral. And the game's main theme is modern jazz. All this makes you feel like you're a hero in a classic film noir movie.

Video game are becoming a new platform for storytelling. And L.A. Noire works because of brilliant writing and directing by Brendan McNamara. Yeah, there's a logical misstep during the Homicide cases. You'll realize that the murderer in the big plot twist would have to spend a lifetime to set up his crimes. But one story and series of missions makes up for that. The mission Fallen Idol and the Arson cases are as good as any of the classic film noir movies. They're complicated and full of moral ambiguity.

So take trip back into time. Walk down those mean streets and experience the world of L.A. Noire. The grade is A.

By the way, in this trailer, you get a taste of the great John Noble's performance. The man is a one man acting class. Remember him in Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King and Fringe?