Hail Enterprise

I just got done watching Star Trek: Enterprise, seasons three and four on Netflix. I didn't catch these seasons when they aired between 2003-2005. One of the reasons that I missed the last two seasons was that here in Cincinnati, UPN which aired Star Trek: Enterprise on low powered Channel 25. Plus the channel had difficulty being carried on cable. This was probably the reason why this show suffered because availability of UPN was a problem in other places in the nation. And while I can't deny Star Trek franchise fatigue, I believe the availability problems were the biggest reasons why the show got cancelled.

So what about the last two seasons of this show? Season Two ended with the Xindi, a collection of alien races, attacking Earth and killing seven million people. The third season was about the Enterprise entering Xindi space and stopping future Xindi attacks. Now, this was perhaps the first time a season was dedicated to a single story arc. I'm not excited about serial story telling like Lost. The reasons are if you miss an episode, you could get lost and if the arc ends badly, the whole show suffers. See season six of Lost. And the Star Trek franchise is about exploring strange new worlds.

Star Trek also likes to tell stories which are metaphorical that reflects our world. Now remember how screenplay writer Damon Lindelof described what happened to Vulcan in the 2009 movie Star Trek? He called the destruction of Vulcan, a 9/11 moment. But Star Trek: Enterprise beat Lindelof to the punch six years earlier. The whole Xindi story arc was a metaphor for the war on terror. Captain Archer (Scott Bakula) must make morally questionable decisions. And guess what just happened on Friday? The United States killed an American citizen, Anwar Al-Awlaki, who was running Al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula with a drone attack. They killed this American citizen without a trial. Tough decision just like the ones Archer had to make.

And in season four, humanity must overcome xenophobia to form an alliance of planets, the United Federation of Planets. It might seem over the top dramatics to show how some humans hated aliens but think about what is happening with the way some Americans treat Muslims after 9/11. See all the angst over the Mosque at Ground Zero controversy. Yet, man will overcome his prejudices and the future looks bright with the formation of the Federation. I just hope that some Americans will embrace the Constitution and put aside their fear and hatred.

Star Trek: Enterprise is one Star Trek series that was underrated. But it was a great show. Kudos must be given to creators and producers Rick Berman and Brannon Braga. Other credit must be given to writers Manny Coto, experienced Star Trek novelists Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens. They've created a bold, exciting and smart Star Trek show.

Christopher Roberts has created a beautiful Star Trek: Enterprise fan video capturing the spirit of the show.

Lost Sucks, Part 5

Season Six and the series finale of Lost have killed my desire to watch serial television with deep mythological storylines. Why? That's because of my great disappointment in Lost. I spent time running home to watch the first five seasons. Then came season six. And once the episode "Across the Sea" came out, I knew the show was in trouble. Then came the contrived series finale, "The End" and I've realized I wasted six years of my life watching this show.

Yes, I've watched X-Files and still like the first five seasons. And yes, the series finale to that show sucked. The whole alien conspiracy was to build super soldiers?! But you see unlike Lost, there were many shows that stood alone without the stinking series finale spoiling the whole series. Since all of Lost depended on season six, the whole series is now rotten.

Look, I will never say never. But Fringe is beginning to worry me. Will I spend all that time watching a show that will end badly? At least Fringe, is not all about the mythology. We'll see how the ratings for Fringe and other serial shows turn out. I wonder what the sales of Lost DVDs are, especially season six. I believe that Lost may have killed serial television not only for me but for the larger television watching audience.

Funny Lost Parody About Hurley's Death

Check out this funny parody about Lost's Hurley. It makes fun of the "interpret it anyway you want" storytelling of Lost by giving you the option of picking how Hurley, who is now the caretaker will eventually die. Wait a minute. If Hurley is the new Jacob, how can he die? I know we saw him in Sideways World or Purgatory. Oh, forget it. My favorite death is by the X-Men's Magneto.

Lost Sucks, Part 4

In the August 13, 2010 Entertainment Weekly, writers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof are interviewed by Rabid Lostie Jeff "Doc" Jensen. In the interview, Cuse admits that the show leaves things open to interpretation. Page 55.

EW: There were some fans who felt leaving things open to interpretation wasn't a choice, but rather a cop-out.
Cuse: "It's not a cop-out. We did not want to take away from the audience that one thing that was such a vital part of the community of the show which was the ability to debate it." Page 55.

Okay, let me get this straight. We started watching the show because the writers were throwing mysteries at you. If you remember the first episode, Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) asked his fellow castaways, "Guys, where are we?" So they set up a premise where they invite you to watch because of the mystery of the Island and at the end, there's no freaking answer! It's a puzzle without a solution. If I had known this was going to be a show without answers, I would have stopped watching a long time ago.

Then Damon Lindelof claims that he showed some type of artistic courage by putting out his product and standing there figuratively naked in front of the audience.

Lindelof: "It's every writer's worst nightmare-and greatest dream-to say to 20 million worldwide, "I'm taking off all my clothes and standing on the stage, what do you think?" Pg. 55.

No, you didn't. If Lindelof were a stripper he would been fired. His finale with no answers is gutless. Like I said before, by leaving the mysteries to be solved by the audience there's no artistic courage. That's because the audience determines the quality of the product. I'm not talking about merely judging a show. They actually finish the show because the show wasn't finished. For example, a Rabid Lostie might love the show because of his blind admiration. Yet, I can come up with an interpretation of how the castaways survived the nuclear blast because invisible naked fairies flew out of Jacob's butt and saved them. That silly rationale would be Shakespeare to me. Since Cuse and Lindleof left so much unanswered, they can't be faulted for a bad end. The show Lost sucks.

Lost Sucks, Part 3.

Okay, Rabid Losties, pop quiz. One of the big problems of season six is the failure to answer major questions. And before you Rabid Losties attack me, think about this. The Island was a major hook for the show. Yes, we watched the character study but the Island was practically a character. It drove all the action. And many of us watched the intrique with the goal of answering the mysteries. So Rabid Losties, answer the following questions. A correct answer must have a reference to the show, season, action or dialogue. No, theorizing off the top of your head.

1. Besides being a cork, what is the Island?

2. What causes the supernatural things on the Island, such as flying smoke monsters, curing paralysis etc?

Note I'm not asking how the crazy things happen. For example, if you answer invisible magic fairies, I don't care what type of spells they use.

3. How did the castaways survive the nuclear explosion (Jughead)?

4. Besides being the caretaker of the Island, who is Jacob?

I mean is he a demi-god, prophet, a Seven Eleven manager?

5. Besides being evil and the brother of Jacob, who or what is the Man in Black?

6. What is the Source?

7. Why and how did the Man in Black turn into a smoke monster?

8. When Jack entered the cave that contained the Source, how come he didn't turn into a Smoke Monster?

9. What is Charles Widmore's "War"? (This is from Entertainment Weekly, 2-15-10, pg. 31)

10. Why is it so detrimental to the world, for the Smoke Monster aka Man in Black aka Fake Locke to leave the Island?

11. Since Sideways World is purgatory, why did Sayid create such a miserable existence for himself?

According to "The End", Sideways World is a a place in which the castaways created so they could come together. Yeah, really. So why would you create a world that is miserable for you? If it were me, I would create a world where I'm rich, and married to Jennifer Aniston.

12. Why couldn't the castaways remember their past lives in Sideways World?

Okay, I got this one. It's because the writers had to extend this contrived gimmick for the whole year.

Lost Sucks, Part 2.

Coming this August, Lost Season Six DVD. According to TrekMovie.com it will feature an epilogue about Hurley's rule of the Island. It will answer a few lingering questions. Remember the joke alternate endings on Jimmy Kimmel Live's how "Aloha to Lost?" I wonder if this one will be serious. Oh, joy. (deadpan)

Before you urge me to buy it to see if there any answers in it, I will make the argument that the producers should have put the answers in the broadcast version. You didn't see Peter Jackson skip important parts from the theatrical version of "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" and put them in the extended DVD. That would be unfair to the intended audience.

I'm sure Rabid Losties will love seeing the Emperor without clothes. But being a former fan, I refuse to see a naked man.

Lost Sucks

Okay, I've spent a week fighting Rabid Losties in the comments section of Choke On Funny's review of the Lost series finale. It's on YouTube. After that, it's time for a new segment in unleashing my rage for having wasted six years of my life watching Lost.

"You can let go now." Rose to Jack on the plane in Sideways World.

No, I'm not going to let go until I get invited to the church by Evangeline Lilly. : ) After fighting with Rabid Losties under the name Basementblooger, I have discovered their favorite defense of this terrible last season. It's interesting because Rabid Losties like Doc Jensen and Dan Snierson of Entertainment Weekly and others furiously defending Lost all bend themselves like pretzels to explain the last season and the finale. Yet, they all have different theories to the show. Anyway the defense you see the most and in the past I've discussed it, is...

"You bring your own interpretation to the show or interpret it any way you want."

Here's what's wrong with that defense. Scripted television and film are not interactive mediums. You cannot control the characters or paramaters because the writers do. I can't make Kate go with Sawyer. I don't have control over them. However, you can write any piece of junk and leave it open for interpretation and run around and call it art. That's not responsible and just plain lazy.

When you read all the different interpretations for the last season of Lost, it becomes clear that mysteries were never going to be answered or maybe the writers didn't know how to resolve them. For example, Terry O' Quinn on Jimmy Kimmel's show says he didn't know he was the Smoke Monster in season five. Alan Dale who plays Charles Widmore said on Kimmel's show didn't know whether he was bad or a good character. First, I feel for the actors who most be able to channel motivation from the script. They had none. Second, it lends proof that the writing was haphazard. So, now writers can just create incomplete junk and offer the "intrepret it your own way" defense.



Of course, Rabid Losties have multiple theories on season six. And by using the "bring your own interpretation" can make season six look like Shakespeare. Let me demonstrate how speecious this is. I was challenged by a Rabid Lostie on the net to use some imagination. Okay, you asked for it, here it is. I'm going to take on the mystery surrounding what happens when the Man in Black (aka Smokey, Fake Locke) leaves the Island and why it would be detrimental.

"Invisible magic fairies live in Jacobs' butt. They would come out and do magical things like heal Locke's paralysis. When Jacob died, the magic fairies went to live in Fake Locke's butt. Should Fake Locke leave the Island, he would take the magic fairies to the world off the Island. The fairies are anti-matter and if they touched real matter, they would cause massive explosion."

See the problem? Nothing prevents my silly story from becoming Lost's story. The writers of the show have avoided all responsibility. Everyone is happy because you have no conclusion or the conclusion is up to the viewer. Let's face it. Every creative artist must face his audience and hope that they like her piece of work. That's par for the course. But in Lost, there is absolutely no artistic courage.

The Lost Series Finale Causes the Show to Stink

First, let me just say that I've been a fan of Lost for six years until they wrapped it up with one of the worst series finales in the history of television. It's so bad that it drags what was an excellent show down in any evaluation. So, my opinion is one of massive disappointment and not out of any desire to deny my inner geek. Second, for the last two weeks, I've been examining the web for various interpretations of the series finale, "The End" and the consensus for the meaning of the show is 1) Sideways World is kind of a purgatory; and 2) the Island was real. I'm going to talk about why the series finale, "The End" was absolutely terrible, then defend the critics of the show against the zealots, people I call Rabid Losties. The Rabid Losties have arguments that you will see on the web over and over. But let's talk about the problems with the show in this segment called,

1. The Emperor Has No Clothes. If you remember the tale of the emperor's new clothes, it was a tale of a snobby emperor who hires a tailor to make him a new set of clothes. Unknown to the emperor, the tailor is a con man who devises the new suit with nothing. He convinces the emperor that only enlightened people can see the clothes. The emperor puts on the new suit and walks around in the public only to be embarrassed by a child who says, "The Emperor isn't wearing anything at all." "The End" is the suit of nothing, a con job.

a. No Questions Were Answered. Okay, they answered some minor questions but these were before the series finale. You found out that real Locke was dead and fake Locke was the Smoke Monster. But the big questions were not answered. What was the Dharma Initiative looking for? Why did pressing the buttons keep the electromagnetism in check? Why was the Man in Black transformed into the Smoke Monster and why wasn't Jack transformed? How did Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley survive the nuclear blast? And on and on....

But the biggest question was never answered. Charlie in the pilot asks, "Guys, where are we?" That question should be rephrased to, "What is the Island? If show creators Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse had answered this question even in broad terms, the series finale may have been great. But no. This question was cast aside so we could waste time in Sideways World. In fact they had plenty of time to answer this question in season six.

Why is this question so important to the show? It's similar to the Star Trek Original Series episode, "Shore Leave." In that show bizarre things happen to the crew on a planet, like appearances out of nowhere of old girlfriends, giant rabbits, knights in armor etc. Now if that show ended without telling you why that stuff was happening you would have disaster in story telling. No conclusion. Fortunately, we're told the planet is an amusement park. The big hook in Lost is that our castaways have crashed on mysterious island. Weird things happen. And they don't explain it to you at anytime. That's not a resolution. It's just lazy writing because you could throw anything at the audience and have no responsibility to explain it. For example, on Jimmy Kimmel's wrap up show, Terry O'Quinn reveals that during season five, he did not know he was the Smoke Monster. Significant, because you must give the actor the motivation to play the part even if his motivation is supposed to be hidden. Watch his comment.



Now, I know in the sixth season episode, "Ab Aeterno" Jacob says the Island is like a cork in a bottle holding evil from the world. And we know the Man in Black aka Smoke Monster is evil and wants to leave the Island. But there's no explanation why his departure is so detrimental to the world. No explanation how Man in Black became Smoke Monster by entering the cave with the light or why Jack doesn't become a Smoke Monster when he entered the cave. There's no explanation how the castaways survive a nuclear blast, how Locke is cured of his paralysis, etc. Now, if the Island were a different plane of existence in Hindu terms, then I can accept all the bizarre stuff without explanation but according to Michael Emerson on G4's "Attack of the Show" he says the Island was real.

If they don't give you much of any answers, why should we care? The answer to this question is that you shouldn't. There's no purpose. I know I don't care anymore.

b. The "Sideways" World. This was the biggest con job of all of television. And it actually goes back further with all the science fiction ideas hinted through seasons one through six. Electromagnetism. Wormholes. Time travel. You see at the end of season five, Juliet detonates the nuclear bomb in 1977 to blow up the Island so the castaways never crash on it in 2004, that's assuming you can change the future rather than create an alternate timeline. But all that cool science fiction stuff were just a bunch of red herrings.

We flash to 2007? Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Juliet are still alive though Juliet is clinging to life. After Juliet dies, her ghost tells Miles that the plan to reboot the future worked. There is a flash sideways where the castaways are on the plane and it safely lands in Los Angeles. This Sideways World is actually a better place for some of the castaways. Jack reconciles with his son and is content. Ben finds redemption as a history teacher. John seems is happy and engaged to Helen. (Katey Sagal)

Is this like the film Star Trek (2009), where they've created an alternate timeline? Will our castaways remember the other timeline on the Island like Guinan in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "Yesterday's Enterprise?" Nope. IT'S A BIG CON JOB. THE WRITERS HAVE PSYCHED YOU OUT. Sideways World is kind of a purgatory.

It's really a bad idea to introduce this concept in the last season of this show. Why? The writers should be answering many of the questions that they've heaped on the audience for the last freaking five years. Instead, they heap more questions in Sideways World. Why is Clare pregnant, if this is purgatory? For that matter why does it matter that Sun is pregnant? What makes Desmond the link between Sideways World and the Island? Why can't the castaways remember their Island life? After all, it's purgatory.

c. The Contrived Ending. Sideways World is just one big excuse to get all the characters together for one big saccharine happy ending. At the church, Jack's father explains the rules of Sideways World. Time has no meaning. So Hurley who will die after Jack can meet Jack in Sideways World. How convenient. Sideways World is a place that the castaways made together so they could find one another. Again, convenient so the writers could get everyone together in the church for the big saccharine ending. Oh by the way, where was Helen? I guess they couldn't afford Katey Sagal for this scene. It all reminds me of that scene in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) where Robert Downey Jr.'s character looks at the camera and states he's going to bring back dead characters from the movie to create a Hollywood happy ending. The writers are so afraid of a downer of an ending that when Jack dies on the Island, he can't even die alone. Vincent, the yellow lab, must lie down next to Jack and comfort him before he passes on.

Another problem with Sideways World is that it is now a complete departure from the science fiction elements of the show. Now, we are being hammered with New Age religious crap. it' a part of the huge jolt of plot direction from "Across the Sea" to "The End." It comes out of nowhere and is forced.

Before you say that I am just being a killjoy, I love a happy ending just as much as anyone else. But this episode was forced and illogical. It would have been better if the show was about the Island being a purgatory where the castaways must complete certain tasks to move on. The next step would be Sideways World. And after they completed tasks there, they move onto another plane of existence. This Hinduesque view of the afterlife would be in harmony with the Hindu stuff of Dharma, Namaste, etc. But no. The Island is supposed to be real. So now, Sideways World is grafted clumsily on.

2. The Emperor Strikes Back. Let's talk about the Rabid Losties attack of the critics of the show. First, let me just say that I believe that Rabid Losties are so in love with the show that they refuse to look at season six with any objectivity for the fear of realizing that they've wasted six years of their lives watchingLost. By the way, I won't insult the Rabid Losties unlike many of them on the web who insult critics of the show as being stupid. I don't think you're dumb at all, just smitten. With that, let's go over the Rabid Losties' defenses.

1. "Lost is about the characters and the Island is irrelevant." This defense is used to deflect criticism that the writers refused to answer questions about the Island. Rabid Losties will not bother answering the mysteries because they can't and won't. That's because they are so in enraptured with the show, they don't care.

Okay, I love the characters too. But the hook of the show was that the castaways crashed on the Island. This was a scary place with a monster, electromagnetic energy, polar bears, etc. Any fan of the show was interested in the Island. The characters wondered where they were. The Island was part of their lives where as Michael Emerson says they had adventures.

If it was just about the characters and the Island was irrelevant then why have an Island? You could made this into a standard drama, have the characters talk about their past lives and flashback that way. The reason there was an Island is that the Island presented the characters with the chance of redemption since many of their lives were deeply flawed. By the way, I'm not going to theorize why it's important to the Island that the castaways be redeemed since the writers didn't explain it.

2. "There's no need for answers since you bring your own interpretation to Lost". I have never seen this defense uttered until I saw Jimmy Kimmel's wrap up special. It came from actor Matthew Fox as Kimmel tries to make sense of show and the series. By the way, Kimmel's theory is very plausible. Here's the clip.



As I have said, I've been a fan of the show. So, I read what writers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof say in interviews. I have never heard them say to the audience you must bring your own interpretation to the show. For example, one of the last articles to address the mysteries was the Feb. 5, 2010 issue of Entertainment Weekly. The writers did not hint that you should bring your own interpretation. I mean if that's the case, then they should have announced this concept way before the finale.

But what is really the problem? Film and scripted television are not interactive mediums. We're not talking about a video game. Say you're playing Grand Theft Auto IV. If you date a girl in the game, you can use your imagination in determining the depth of the relationship. There are some parameters but it's open enough for that personal fantasy. Scripted drama does not allow that freedom. That's because you as viewer cannot affect the events in the show. The writers have total control of the parameters. They control the events. Telling an audience that they should bring their own interpretation to the drama is a total cop out. By doing so, the writer can do anything lame, leave mysteries with no resolution all under the guise that the audience should interpret it in their own way. That's just plain lazy.

3. Conclusion. Bad finales don't stop me from watching a series over. I still enjoy the X-Files seasons one through five. In film, I love Alien and Aliens but hate the other Alien movies. I can't say that I will enjoy Lost in any capacity. The way the writers treated the Island and the castaways makes it meaningless to me. If the Island is not relevant to the characters then it's not relevant to me.

One last thing. I fear for Star Trek 2. Damon Lindelof is listed as a producer. Star Trek (2009) was a fun but shallow movie. Memo to Bad Robot. Please turn the project to legitimate science fiction writers. Star Trek is not Star Wars. Star Trek has stood for great science fiction for over forty years. Respect the franchise.

How to End a TV Series

Today, I'm going to discuss how to end a TV series the right way. But one more last dig at Lost before I, um, let go. DabramahBull of YouTube had it right when he said you don't need the Island if the show was about Jack's life and move into Sideways World. Smoke monsters, curing paralysis and surviving a nuclear blast cannot happen in the real world unless there's something magical happening. By saying you can bring your interpretation into the drama is lazy writing. Did the creators really want us to do that? When did they hint at this? You watched the show because of the mystery the writers were throwing at you. At some point the audience must be told that the show is about anything you want. For example, if you play Grand Theft Auto and are dating a girl in the game, that's interactive and where it goes is left up to your imagination. There are no parameters set up by a writer. Six years of watching Lost, and what I got was a contrived and corny ending. SCREAM! (Add your favorite scream here.)

So, what's the best way to end a TV series? Well, that depends on the series. Some closure is needed if questions remain. And even if none remain, it's good to tell the audience that it's over. I don't appreciate big gigantic changes. That's not because of the possibility of reviving the show in another format. But if you make big changes, then rest of the series becomes irrelevant. I appreciate St. Elsewhere's avant garde ending but now the show is useless since it was all in a child's snow globe. You can also make the argument for film sequels. Alien 3's premise killed the great Aliens which I believe the film series should end on. Finally, keep within the themes of the series for the final show.

Here are two great series finales. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Cheers. In ST:TNG, the final episode is symmetrical to the pilot. Q, a superbeing alien, tests Captain Picard in the past, present and the future. Picard must repair a rip in space time continuum or else man will cease to exist. Seven years before, Q in the pilot also tested Picard because he was human and didn't trust humans to explore space. Of course, Picard succeeds in fixing the rip in the space time coninuum because I'm here blogging! After succeeding Q and Picard have a thought provoking discussion. The final scenes are of Picard playing poker with the crew. Cut to the Enterprise heading towards a dazzling nebula. Check it out.





Cheers ended with Sam in the bar with the one thing he loves. It's not the bar. It's the community formed within the bar. Funny. Profound. Great last line for the series. "Sorry, we're closed", he says to a customer. Someone posted it on YouTube.

If you want great television go buy Star Trek (all series) pre-Abrams or Cheers.

The Meaning of the Lost Finale and Series, Part 3

Okay, after reading other reviews, everybody is coming with this conclusion about the Lost Series Finale. It is that the Island exists. Sideways World is kind of purgatory where time has no meaning. That part I understand. But what this means is that the show now kind of sucks. I mean there is an Island where smoke monsters exist, paralysis can be healed and you can survive a nuclear explosion! Yes, I know it's supposed to be paranormal. But at least with a movie like Harry Potter, they tell you that magic exists. The problem is that the writers used reality based flashbacks, flash forwards, and sideways to ground the show. And then they teased us with science fiction concepts, only to end it with this New Age crap. Did they explain anything significant about the Island? No. Aaaaaaaaah! And the end was saccharine and contrived. Everybody is in the church with their significant other. Jack dies on the Island but reunites with Kate in Sideways World. I'm getting cavities. He can't even die alone. Vincent, the yellow lab has to comfort him as he moves onto Sideways World. This guy (DabramahBull) on YouTube does a great job explaining the way I feel.

Alternate Endings to Lost

Spoiler Alert. First, let's see the real end of Lost.



Here's Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof's "Alternate Endings" to Lost from Jimmy Kimmel's show.



How about Jimmy Kimmel's Alternate Ending?



I like the alternate endings better.

The Meaning of the Lost Finale and Television Series, part 2

Michael Emerson who played chief Other Ben, recently said on "The Attack of the Show" that the Island was real. Okay, this blows up my theory that everyone on Oceanic 815 died in the plane crash. So according his version, then the passengers on Oceanic 815 died at different times. When Jack dies on the Island, after saving it, he goes to Sideways World where he meets his friends. I know, it doesn't make sense from a time perspective. But if you accept time has no meaning in Sideways World then you can see how this contrived finale works. And don't ask me about the nuke. I don't care anymore. Anyway, here's the interview.

Game Reviews - E3 2010 - Movies and TV

The Meaning of the Lost Finale and Television Series

Namaste. Here are the big answers to "Lost." And by that I am talking about the main concepts of the show. First, those of you liked the science fiction elements in Lost can now skip the DVDs and buy Star Trek DVDs pre-Abrams. Why? We can now say that Lost is a religious television series. Second, we can all agree that Sideways World is kind of a purgatory since the castaways are all dead. Finally, I am not going to explain all the other mysteries because frankly I don't give a damn.

1. "Guys... where are we?," Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) asks about the Island. To answer your question, Charlie, you're dead. Your plane crashed on the Island. Now it could be fate, the word on Charlie's finger bandages, that you crashed on the magical Island but guys, your pilot was not Sully Sullenberger it was Gregg Grunberg.

"Plane" of Existence. First, let's talk about a big hint dropped in season two. It was the introduction of the Dharma Initiative, the mysterious organization set up to study electromagnetism, psychology, parapsychology, meteorology and zoology. Note that members of the initiative use the greeting Namaste. Dharma and Namaste are Hindu expressions. Dharma means upholding one's righteous duty and Namaste is a greeting recognizing the divinity in a person.

From those hints in the show, we look towards how Hindus view the afterlife. It seems that there are multiple levels beyond the earth. There is also the idea that bad karma leads to punishment in the afterlife. Now, the show is not just about Hindu religion but is a mishmash of different religions. However, some religions also have various planes of existence after one dies.

Okay, so how does that prove that the passengers of Oceanic 815 died in the crash? It's because of Sideways World. In that plane of existence we know that they are all dead. The whole series was told back in flashbacks that occurred before the plane crash. And if you noticed, most of the passengers had bad karma. The show had themes of redemption. The Island was a test or a chance at redemption. It may have been punishment. But once Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) detonated the atomic bomb in season five, they were all hurled into Sideways World. That's why her ghost told Miles, it worked. Finally, the last scene in the finale "The End" (appropriately named) accompanying the end credits is of the beach and plane wreckage. The beach is empty. A sign that from the beginning, they were killed in the crash.

And don't forget that Locke was crippled before the crash. He's on the island and now can walk. That can't happen in our real world.

2. "Time has no meaning here." Soran (Malcolm McDowell) Star Trek: Generations

Hold on. How can Jack (Matthew Fox) be on the island and Sideways World at the same time? For that matter how can Hurley (Jorge Garcia) be guardian of the island and be in Sideways World at the same time? Well, remember in the finale, when Jack meets his dead father, he asks why the passengers are all here now. "Well, there is no now, here." See clip below. So time has no meaning. You die in the Island plane of existence, then move onto Sideways World. Yes, it's a cheap way to bring the whole cast together since some of the Church audience were not on the plane and make one big saccharine happy ending.

Detonating the bomb, did reset the future for the castaways. It allowed them to move onto Sideways World and land in Los Angeles. At the same time it allowed the Island to give Jack one more chance at redemption. Again, ignore time since it has no meaning. Jack is hurled back from the seventies to 2007 where he passes his test as Guardian of the Island by defeating the Smoke Monster, who is evil incarnate. When Jack dies on the Island, he moves onto Sideways World.

3. And They Lived Happily Ever After. Now you've noticed this season, that Sideways World is actually a more positive lifetime for many of the castaways than the Island. That's because of positive karma. You see, good acts in the Island world sowed rewards in Sideways World. So when Jack's father opens the door at the back of the Church, they move on, perhaps to an even higher level of the afterlife, maybe Heaven.



Wait a minute, you ask. Jack's father says that some of those in the Church died before and after him. How can that be in your theory, Bernie? We are basically now talking about Desmond and Penny who weren't on the plane. Like I said the show has so many mysteries that the creators heaped on us, there's no point in going over all of them. Some of the questions, I believe are caused by discontinuity by the various writers. And just recently, ABC said they put the last scene of plane wreckage to transition the moving ending to the news. ABC indicated that Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof had nothing to do with it. Aaaaaaaaah! Was that a big enough scream? Okay, ABC why put a picture with plane wreckage as a soothing transition to the news? Okay, ABC how did Jack, Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate survive the nuclear blast? I'll believe it when Cuse and Lindelof finally explain it.

Update: There's a consensus that the Island was real. The show did not explain what the Island was. So smoke monsters exist, there's cure for paralysis and you can survive nuclear explosions? People, even with "Harry Potter" they tell you magic exists. Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof won't even explain the Island in broad terms? Okay, it's some type of cork in the bottle of evil. But what about the magical stuff? Aaaaaaaah! Six years of watching the show and all I got was this contrived New Age crap?

Namaste.

When Lost Jumped the Shark

Spoiler. You've spent six years watching Lost and were praying for a great series finale. Unfortunately, you got a show with New Age religious overtones. It looked like a show that was going to go heavy into wormholes, time travel, parallel universes and electromagnetism. But no. Sideways world is some type of purgatory where the castaways get together for a happy ending. This doesn't explain why Hurley is now protector of the island when he's dead and in purgatory. Unless time is meaningless and Hurley joins the group after he dies which kind of makes him a god. Update: There's a consensus on the web that Sideways World was a purgatory where time has no meaning. That means when Hurley dies he can meet up with Jack at anytime. How convenient? The Island according to many is real. Don't ask me about how they survived the nuclear bomb. Awful, just plain awful.

So when did Lost jump the shark? That's where a television series like Happy Days went bad. In Happy Days it was an episode where Fonzie literally jumped a shark on skis. It starts where we finally meet Jacob (Mark Pellegrino, above) in the flesh and also his nemesis, the Man in Black (Titus Welliver), in the fifth season episode "The Incident." (2009) The show finally jumps the shark in the sixth season episode "Across the Sea" (2010) Now the show has become a full blown religious allegory. Don't you wish the show's writers had hinted at this New Age religious stuff way before the last season? It's quite a jolt. And it doesn't fit the science fiction material developed in the first five seasons. Memo to Bad Robot. Please keep Damon Lindelof away from Star Trek 2.

Lost Series Finale Review

SPOILER ALERT. Okay, you've spent six years watching Lost and trying to figure it out. What do the numbers mean? How come there's a polar bear on the island? How come Hurley never loses weight? So did we get answers from last night's series finale? Sort of. I'm going to review the final episode and discuss the meaning of it. So if you don't want to know about the ending, stop reading until you see it, then come back.

The show bounces between sideways world and the island circa 2007? Most of our castaways in the sideways world are happy. Whereas, back on the island, Jack (Matthew Fox) has become protector of it. Smoke Monster aka Fake John Locke or Smokey (Terry O' Quinn) wants to get off the island. He's evil incarnate. He forces Desmond (Henry Ian Cusick) to enter the lighted tunnel which gave birth to him. Jack helps with the confidence that Smokey will be destroyed by the act.

Back in sideways world, Desmond continues to bring the castaways together. He believes that they will remember their lives on the island. Wait a minute. They were miserable on the island. They're happy in sideways world. Why do this? But I digress. The memories cause them to recall their relationships and they all head to the church for a reunion.

On the island, Smokey's plan backfires as he now becomes mortal. About to escape, Smokey stabs Jack. But one cant' forget that Kate (Evangeline Lily) is good with a gun. She kills Smokey. Jack tells the survivors that he must restore the island. He takes Hurley (Jorge Garcia) and Ben (Michael Emerson) with him. You see Desomond had removed a giant plug that extinguished the light. Remember that the island is like a cork to keep out the evil in the bottle. The other survivors hop onto a plane and leave the island. Jack knows he's going to die in the effort, so he tells Hurley that he must become protector of the island. Hurley asks Ben to be his assistant. Ben happily accepts.

In sideways world, the survivors all meet at the church. Ben tells Hurley he can't enter the church. Jack is told to enter through the back by Kate who tells him that they are moving on. Jack enters a room where he meets his "dead" father, Christian Shephard. (John Terry) The room is full of Christian artifacts. Jack is told he's dead. Hmmmm. Jack's dad is named Christian. But I digress. Jack reunites with all his friends from the island in the church. As they all celebrate, the camera is forced backwards to a child's snow globe. Sorry, that's the finale to St. Elsewhere. Okay back to the show, Christian moves down the aisle and opens the back door where a bright light similar to the gold color beams over the survivors. Back at the island, Jack stumbles out of the tunnel and onto the beach where the camera zooms in on his eye echoing the first shot of the series. The eye closes. And that's the end to "The End", the final show for Lost. Or is it? Watching the credits you get a shot of the plane wreckage on the beach. Could that be a hint?

Like all of "Lost", this series finale was emotional and well acted by the cast. The writing was good in the way it handles the dialogue. But it's the finish that gets lost. First, I don't' believe that the heads of Lost, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse knew where it was going to go after the pilot. The show at one point embraced science fiction. The mysterious Dharma Intiative was into meteorology, parapsychology, zoology, and electromagnetism. But this season, the show veered wildly into New Age religion. Going to the light is something out of the canceled "Ghost Whisperer."

So what about the end? I think the fans who thought the whole thing was about purgatory were right. The plane wreckage as the credits rolled seemed to give me the push on this theory. The passengers of Oceanic 815 are all dead. Kate's line about moving on is telling here. The golden light as the door of the church opens comes from afterlife experiences. Go to the light when you're dead. Ben can't go into the church because of all the evil he has done. He must complete certain tasks before he can leave. So he's stuck in purgatory or sideways world.

Okay, this is where my theory gets somewhat blown up and why this last show kind of stinks. If they are in purgatory, assuming they all died in the plane crash, why is Hurley left in charge of the island? If he's dead, how can he be left to take of the island? Didn't he leave with the rest of the survivors to go into the light? Argh! "The End" doesn't provide many answers but unfortunately starts more mysteries. Update: There's a consensus on the web that the Island was real. Sideways World was a place where they could all get together after dying. Oh, and time has no meaning in Sideways World so Hurley could become protector of the Island and meet up with Jack. Don't ask me about how they survived the nuclear blast. This is lazy writing. That explains nothing about the Island. The grade will be changed to D.

This show went off the rails by taking the religious angle. Combining science fiction and religion is not a good idea. That's because they don't match. Faith and science are usually at conflict. This last season finished with a jumble of religious New Age ideas. Look, I didn't want all my questions answered but can we make some sense of a little of it?

As far as series finales go, "The End" is not as bad as the X-Files (it's' about creation of super soldiers?!) but not as good as the bittersweet Cheers. The bar in Cheers doesn't get blown up but still exists. Sam (Ted Danson) tells a customer that he's missed last call and he's sorry, "We're closed." Great end. The X-Files jumped the shark at season eight but started to get bad during season six. Lost started to go bad during season five when it veered into religion. The grade for the series finale, "The End" is D. The grade for the entire series is B minus. Namaste.