Bengals survive and thrive against the Ravens

Today's game between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Baltimore Ravens was the epitome of Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton's season. There was bad Andy Dalton. Four interceptions. Not all were his fault. There's the good Andy Dalton. Two touchdown passes and he ran one in. By doing so, he holds the team record for throwing touchdown passes in a season. Can Andy Dalton lead the Bengals to victory in the Super Bowl? Yes. He's not the A Plus Tom Brady type of quarterback. But I would grade him at B Plus.

And speaking of championships, defense wins championships. Today the Bengals defense was all over Ravens quarterback Joe Flaccid, er... Joe Flacco. He threw three interceptions including one pick six. The Bengals have an A Plus defense. They kept the team in the game until the Bengals offense recovered and overcame its errors.

The result of the Bengals defense and good offensive plays led the Bengals to a big victory. Bengals win 34-17. Here's the story from the Bengals with video. Bengals go 8 and 0 at home. The finish at 11-5. It's on to the playoffs and a world championship at the Super Bowl. I dream big, guys.

House Republicans look for alien life

Hey, this is cool. The House Republicans look for intelligent life in their party. I keeed. I keeed the Republicans. Seriously, the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology had a hearing on December 4 to investigate what scientific measures we have to find extraterrestrial life. And I finally agree that the House of Representatives did something positive and worthwhile. It looks hopeful that we will find planets that can support life.

A & E defends biogotry

Yesterday's news from A & E would prompt a sarcastic Gomer Pyle to say, " Surprise, surprise, surprise." The cable network has quickly removed the suspension of Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty. The network announced the news yesterday on a Friday afternoon. Hmmm. I wonder why they did it yesterday. Could it be it would get buried in the slow news cycle? Is the Pope Catholic?

If you recall, Robertson likened homosexuality to bestiality and said blacks were happier before the Civil Rights movement. Two comments that were ignorant, and prejudicial. The comment about African Americans was particularly racist. As it yearns for a South when blacks were openly discriminated against and treated as second class citizens.

A & E by officially bringing back Robertson has made a statement. TV ratings matter more than racial tolerance. By bringing him back, the network has now given a forum for hatred. Young Americans will see that a racist can be successful. There will be no moral consequence for hatred. What next? The KKK Hour on A & E because it brings TV ratings?

I believe in free speech. Robertson has spoken. Now, it's time for you to speak. I've already said I will boycott the show and the network. I ask if you believe in tolerance, should you be supporting Duck Dynasty and giving a reward for hatred?

Salon: "How the GOP became the "White Man's Party"

From Salon and Ian Haney- Lopez, here is the excellent article, "How the GOP became the "White Man's Party.". I ask my conservative friends to read it. I think you will find the factual comments to be true even if you disagree with the opinion

Sarah Palin shoots from the hip

As Louis would say in Casablanca, "I'm shocked. Shocked." Shocked that conservative Republican Sarah Palin would mouth off her opinion on a topic without knowing anything about it. Palin defended Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson comments that compared homosexuality to bestiality and blacks were happier before the civil rights movement. Now we find out Palin didn't read them before she defended Robertson. Ignorant? You betcha.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Here's your Christmas gift. From season one of the classic Mary Tyler Moore show, it's "Christmas and the Hard Luck Kid."

What?!! The Cincinnati Bengals make the playoffs three years in a row

With today's victory by the Cincinnati Bengals over the Minnesota Vikings, the Bengals have made the playoffs for three years in a row. The question would become would they go in as a Wild Card or AFC North Division champs. That question was answered when the Baltimore Ravens lost to the New England Patriots. The Bengals are AFC North Division champs.

Today's game was not close. The Bengals offense could do anything they wanted against the Vikings. The defense was stellar too. The score? The Bengals walloped the Vikings 42-14. Here is the story from the Cincinnati Bengals with video.

Now the Bengals need to win in the playoffs. And ... win the Super Bowl.

Stephen Colbert on Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson

Here's Stephen Colbert with his take on Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson and his bigoted comments to GQ.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

More of Stephen Colbert on the Fox News insistence that Santa Claus was white

Here's Stephen Colbert with more of his take on Fox News' insistence that Santa Claus was white. Now, he takes on Germany's view that Santa Claus was actually German or Father Christmas. He also gets to use Hans Beinholtz for more hilarious German expressionist humor.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Jon Stewart on Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson

Here's Jon Stewart of The Daily Show taking on Ducky Dynasty's Phil Robertson and his bigoted comments.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

I'm going to boycott "Duck Dynasty."

I guess it's too much to ask a redneck to not be a bigot. Duck Dynasty's patriarch Phil Robertson let us see the real redneck. And guess what? He thinks homosexuality is like bestiality and that blacks were happier before civil rights legislation. Let's take a look at his comments to GQ. And I'll tell you why I plan to boycott Duck Dynasty.

1. The Anti-Gay Comments.

Here's what he said about gay men as reported by the Huffington Post.

“It seems like, to me, a vagina -- as a man -- would be more desirable than a man’s anus," Robertson told GQ. "That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

Okay, not so bad. It's kind of funny. But then he shows his true nature and it ain't a lovin' Christian.

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong. Sin becomes fine," he later added. “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers -- they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

Okay, the stuff about comparing homosexuality to bestiality ain't about loving your fellow man. It's hatred. Because homosexuality is not a deviant sexual practice. If Phil had remembered his high school education, he would know that gay men have helped build our western civilization. See the Greeks.

2. The Racial Comments.

Here's what Robertson had to say about blacks in the pre-civil-rights-era. From E Online.

"I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person," Robertson claims. "Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotten with them. I'm with the blacks, because we're white trash. ... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: These doggone white people'—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues."

This is either brain dead or the sign of a bigot. Blacks suffered under Jim Crow laws which disenfranchised them from being heard in the democratic process. So which is it Phil? Ignorance of black suffering or are you a real life Archie Bunker?

3. Free Speech and Sarah Palin

My muse, Sarah Palin defended Robertson and so did Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. They used the First Amendment's Right of Free Speech as the basis. That's just ignorant. The First Amendment protects speech from government censorship. Robertson got to spew his prejudicial remarks freely. If Duck Dynasty's network A & E doesn't like it, they can act by suspending Robertson. And also defending Robertson was the Duck Dynasty clan. This went along the lines of saying Robertson was expressing his religious views. Well, if that's your view of Christianity, I'm not going to your church. We also find out that A & E doesn't really care about his comments since they're going to air new shows with Robertson this January.

4. The Boycott. Okay, now I'm going to exercise my First Amendment Rights. I'm not gong to watch Duck Dynasty again. And I'm going to avoid A & E's other programming to protest. I'm not going to support a bigot or the network that supports him.

Stephen Colbert pokes fun at the NSA spying on gamers

Earlier this month I wrote about the NSA spying on video game players using The World of Warcraft, Second Life and XBOX. Here's a very funny video piece by Stephen Colbert on the subject.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Stephen Colbert on Google's acquisition of Boston Dynamics

If you've seen any videos of Boston Dynamic's robots, you realize how scary these things are. I mean they look like stuff from a Terminator movie. Couple that with the mysterious Google barges, and I think there might be an insidious plan by Google to take over the world. I keeed our robot Google masters. Thank goodness for Stephen Colbert. Here's his very funny piece.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Stephen Colbert rips Fox News' Megyn Kelly's Jesus was white comments

Hooray for Stephen Colbert! In the video below in his own sarcastic way, Colbert rips Fox News Megyn Kelly's comments that Santa and Jesus were white. Funny stuff from Stephen Colbert.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Steelers humiliate Bengals on national TV

I was going to watch the Cincinnati Bengals battle the Pittsburgh Steelers at a pub the other night. But i was delayed by playing Grand Theft Auto V. As I was ready to leave, our men in stripes were down 21-0. So I decided to stay and play move Grand Theft Auto. That turned out to be a good choice.

The Steelers beat the Bengals in all phases of the game. And to make matters worse, a Steeler broke the jaw of another Bengal. Remember Keith Rivers broken jaw? This time it was a vicious hit on Bengals punter Kevin Huber who was defenseless. He is also suffering from a cracked vertebrae. Folks, that's Steelers football. Dirty. Think I'm being a homer? Remember Kimo Von Oelhoffen rolling his shoulder into Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer's knee?

Bengals lose 30-20. Anyway here's the story from the Bengals. And with last night's Baltimore Ravens win, the Bengals now lead the division by only one game.

Lewis Black is disappointed with the future

Here's Lewis Black from The Daily Show with his Back in Black feature. His gripe this time? The future he was promised is disappointing. Funny stuff.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

Jon Stewart destroys Megyn Kelly and Fox News

As you have heard, Megyn Kelly of Fox News declared that Santa Claus and Jesus were white. And then a Fox News pundit said that facts should not be changed to fit a political agenda. Oh, the irony! Great stuff for Jon Stewart and Jessica Williams of The Daily Show. By the way, Santa Claus or St. Nicholas was a Greek man, probably dark skinned. And Jesus was not born in northern Europe. Try the Middle East, you right-wingers. Anyway great comic stuff from The Daily Show.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug HFR 3D Review

It might make financial sense to make three movies out of J.R. Tolkien's children's novel The Hobbit, it probably wasn't a good idea from a narrative sense. To stretch out the book into three movies, Director-writer Peter Jackson, and writers Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, and Guilermo Del Toro used the appendices from Tolkien's The Return of the King to add to The Hobbit. What it did was to turn a tale of adventurous quest into a complex fantasy epic.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug starts where the first Hobbit movie ended i.e. after an ill advised flashback scene. Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) leads the Dwarves to the precipice of The Lonely Mountain. In the mountain is the Dwarf kingdom which Thorin, (Richard Armitage)grandson of the king of the Dwarves, wishes to take back. However, it's guarded by Smaug, (voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch) your classic dragon who can roast our little hero into a hobbit shish kabob. The Dwarves send Bilbo since he's supposed to be a burglar to steal the jewel called the Arkenstone which will united the dwarf kingdoms.

Okay, what I've described sounds pretty simple. But the writers have fleshed out Tolkien's children's novel to produce side quests. We follow Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen) on a side quest that frankly should have been shortened. And while a trip to the village of Esgaroth is probably necessary for the plot, it's here among the humans that the film grinds to a halt. I'm not sure it was necessary to detail all the politics of the people in the village. These and other side tales drain the film of energy. And it's interesting that in this return to Middle Earth that there seems to be a lack of urgency unlike The Lord of the Rings films. The parts of the film that save it are the giant spiders, the elegance of the elves and the frightening Smaug.

Martin Freeman is once again good as the humble Hobbit, Bilbo. But there are times his performance is lazy. However, Cumberbatch's Smaug is remarkable. He's full of menace, arrogance and anger. Special effects are inconsistent. There's an over reliance on the CGI which at times makes movie feel fake. That's more laziness. Maybe Jackson is getting tired of Middle Earth. Perhaps, there should be more live action shot with real actors. Whereas some CGI feels fake, that can't be said for everything. The giant spiders and the dragon Smaug are unbelievable. Jackson who hates spiders really outdoes the big one in Return of the King. And Smaug really had me ducking in my seat.

I'm a proponent of HFR (high frame rate) 3D. After seeing last year's Hobbit, I'm convinced this is the best way to see 3D. Scenes for The Desolation of Smaug have pop. There's depth. Every object looks and feels like a three dimensional diorama not a pop up book. Of course, there's the clarity of the picture. Go see this movie in HFR 3D.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug ends abruptly with a cliff hanger. And I get it, that it's part two of a trilogy. But even part two of a three year trilogy must have an ending. The ending here feels like it was cut from the middle of a scene. It is a metaphor for the whole movie. The great parts of the movie are off set by the mediocre parts. The grade is B.

Obamacare is not Apartheid

Crazy right-wingers bashed Nelson Mandela on Newt Gingrich's Facebook page. Then there was former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum indicating that Obamacare was like Apartheid. Here's Jon Stewart of the Daily Show and his take on the Republican insanity.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

Fox News' Megyn Kelly says Jesus was white

Last night on her Fox News show, Megyn Kelly says this about Jesus Christ. "“I mean, Jesus was a white man too. He was a historical figure, that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa — I just want the kids watching to know that.” Video clip below. Sorry, Megyn. I don't think so. Since Jesus was a Jew of Mediterranean descent and not some white Anglo-Saxon man. But I guess white racists are pleased with Megyn's brain dead assertion.

Stephen Colbert lampoons Fox News Gretchen Carlson's outrage over Festivus Pole

Is this a great country or what? Upset with a nativity scene at the Florida capital, Chaz Stevens puts up a Festivus Pole inspired by the Seinfeld TV show. It's a fake holiday. Of course, this outrages Fox News Gretchen Carlson. Hey Gretchen what about freedom? Her outrage is great comic fodder for Stephen Colbert.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Jon Stewart pokes fun at NSA spying

Yesterday, I wrote about the American government spying online on video game players in such games as Second Life, XBOX and World of Warcraft. Well, Jon Stewart of the Daily Show did a very funny piece on NSA spying. Check it out.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

Jon Stewart talks about conservative hypocrisy over the raising the minimum wage

As a Christian, can I say this? Thank God for Jon Stewart who is Jewish and The Daily Show. As fast food workers demand a raise in the minimum wage, conservative commentators are coming out of the penthouses to oppose a living wage for poor people. It's particularly ridiculous to see Fox News Stuart Varney argue somehow it's moral to oppose a living wage. Merry Christmas! Yep, I agree with Jon Stewart. Stuart, you're beginning to look like Scrooge. So, Jon Stewart destroys Varney and all the conservatives by telling us what Jesus would do. Hilarious stuff from Jon.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

Goddess, American intelligence spies on video game players

The New York Times is reporting that American and British intelligence agencies have infiltrated online video gaming. The primary games affected are Second Life and The World of Warcraft. According to the article, spies created fictional personas who in turn engaged with other gamers to collect data and recruit informers. The linked article says a top secret NSA report states video games, " had the potential to be a “target-rich communication network” allowing intelligence suspects “a way to hide in plain sight.” So how common was this spying. So many CIA, FBI and Pentagon spies were in the Second Life universe, that a "deconfliction" group was needed. The surveillance also included XBOX Live. And where did this information come from? NSA leaker Edward Snowden.

So let me get this straight. As person who plays multiplayer Mass Effect 3, is defeating Reapers, Cerberus, Collectors and the Geth somehow a threat to our national security? Okay I get it. The government agencies think that terrorists are somehow online communicating through the virtual worlds of slaying dragons. Really? Has any terrorist been thwarted by killing trolls? And I would like to meet the radical, fundamentalist Islamic terrorist who plays Grand Theft Auto V with its strippers and prostitutes. As the Asari of Mass Effect like to say, "Goddess."

Stephen Colbert rips the do nothing Congress

Stephen Colbert takes on the least productive Congress in American history. Let me see who I would blame here. Who's the group that shut down the country over Obamacare? And who won't do anything about immigration reform? Hmmm. House Republicans. At least they can agree on taking care of government monkeys. Anyway funny stuff from Colbert.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Bill Maher: "Ronald Reagan was no Jack Kennedy."

During the commemoration of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, Bill Maher noted that Republicans often say that President Ronald Reagan was their John Kennedy. Here's Bill Maher in a New Rule, destroying the Reagan myth, courtesy of Mediaite and HBO.

Bill Maher rips cheap conservative Christians

Here's Bill Maher destroying cheap conservative Christians who tip waiters with phony ten dollar bills. The waiters need money to pay bills and you know, buy food. Bill Maher shows the conservative Christian hypocrisy. We all must ask what would Jesus do. From Mediaite and HBO, here's his funny New Rule.

The Cincinnati Bengals freeze the Indianapolis Colts

In Cincinnati, cold weather and Bengals football go together like chili and spaghetti. So when the Indianapolis Colts (8-4) came to town to play the Bengals, I was hopeful. You see the Colts play inside a dome during the winter months. And the Bengals play outside the way football is meant to be played. Maybe the Colts would have trouble adjusting.

Today, the Bengals offense took over while the defense had some trouble tackling. The result was a solid Cincinnati Bengals win over the playoff bound Colts, 42-28. The Bengals offense was working in all phases; running and passing. Solid victory for our men in stripes. Here's the story from the Cincinnati Bengals with video.

Stephen Colbert on Amazon's Drones

I love it when Stephen Colbert discusses the use of drones in delivering products. Here's his funny take on Amazon's idea to use them.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

Bengals beat the Chargers

Let's see if I can describe the Cincinnati Bengals defeat of the San Diego Chargers in one sentence. The Bengals' defense hold off the Chargers until the rushing attack takes control. Anyway, the Bengals won 17-10 at Sand Diego. Here's the story.

Grand Theft Auto V Single Player and Multiplayer Review

Whenever there's a new Grand Theft Auto video game out, there's always some controversy. After all the game features stealing, murder, prostitution and just about every vice known to man. Simply put, the games are evil. And they're a lot of fun. Grand Theft Auto V came out in September and the online portion was launched in October. I played the daylights out of both parts of the game and to brag a little, I got the One Hundred Percent Achievement for single player. But is this video game worthy of your Christmas giving? Well, let's review this game via the title of Sergio Leone's Spaghetti Western, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."

THE GOOD.

The Story.

Grand Theft Auto V is a visit back to the fictional state of San Andreas which is based on California. San Andreas was the basis of game maker Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Of course, the major city in California is Los Angeles. And in the Grand Theft Auto World it's Los Santos.

Grand Theft Auto V starts out with a flashback. It's here we meet two of the story's protagonists. Michael and Trevor. They're part of a three man crew that's robbing a bank in a cold northern state. It goes bad. And the player is immediately thrust into a violent and exciting gun battle with the police. One of the crew dies. We then flash forward to Los Santos where Michael is a middle age wealthy man who has a family with a wife and two teenage children. He leaves a session with his psychiatrist when he accidentally runs into a young African American man named Franklin. He is currently working for a crooked car dealer by repossessing vehicles. Franklin's a guy who's a small time crook who lives in the hood and wants to make bigger scores. Michael can't stay away from the only thing he knows how to do. Robbery. Fate would later bring the two together as a de facto father and son criminal team. Meanwhile in the San Andreas desert, Trevor is living the life of a meth manufacturer, and arms dealer. Trevor was under the impression that it was Michael that died. He finds out that he did not and travels to Los Santos to find out the truth.

In any Grand Theft Auto game there's going to be a degree or hyper realism. So once you get by that, Grand Theft Auto V has a compelling story. The three characters all have interesting lives albeit criminal ones. And it's not easy making three murdering thieves appealing. But writers Dan Houser, Rupert Humphries and Micheal Unsworth have done so. Director Dan Houser also does a fine job getting genuine performances from the voice actors and the computer animation. One wants to know what the future will hold for Franklin, what trouble Trevor will get into and about the family life of Michael. As for Michael, I can't recall a video game where a main protagonist is a middle age man with a family.

There is a slight story for the online multiplayer. You create your own character based on the grand parents and parents of your character. You then become an upcoming criminal new to San Andreas months before the events of the three main character. You are assigned missions by some of the characters in the single player game. But the twist is you are the criminal. It's a cool RPG idea in an action open world game.

I also appreciate the social satire. On the radio and television stations, the writers go after conservative politics here as they have done in the other games. Other targets are celebrities, and reality television. It's funny stuff.


The gameplay.

In every recent Grand Theft Auto game there's going to be a Heat like bit gun fight. Grand Theft Auto V starts out with a thrilling one. And that's just the first one. There are multiple big gun battles in GTA V. They're fun and exciting. You are often given the ability to switch between the three main characters. If enemies are flanking Michael, you can switch to Trevor or Franklin. If you want big explosions, GTA V doesn't disappoint. You can acquire heavy weapons early on, so later missions are a literal blast. Another cool Grand Theft Auto thing repeats here. You can complete many missions in various ways. Have to get off a building with enemies? You could take the elevator. But how about jumping off it with a parachute?

The controls are basically good. The auto aim works smoothly and is needed as you usually engage in combat in the third person view. Driving cars will take some getting used to but also works well. If you have trouble driving a car, I suggest the first person mode.

As with any Grand Theft Auto game, But there's more to do than just combat. There are races. Car, water ski and athletic triathlons. Parachuting contests make a comeback here. In one mission you operate heavy machinery. It doesn't sound like fun but trust me it is. An enjoyable tennis game is here. And there's a real golf game that is relaxing diversion away from all of the murder. There's also a mission replay feature that will allow you to instantly relive any great moment in the game rather than having to play it from the beginning. This allows you to go flaror the Gold Medal achievements on multiple attempts. It makes those achievements doable. Kudos to game designers Leslie Benzies, and Imran Sarwar.

If you just want to explore the world, you can do that too. San Andreas is huge, maybe too large. There's the city of Los Santos. Then there's the desert. Mountains. Small towns. And don't forget the ocean. You can dive underwater here. All of this is rendered beautifully. You'll find yourself taking many pictures of this world.

As for multiplayer, it's full of great ideas. There might more to do here than single player. Car races. Ski boat races. Death match. Parachute jumping. Mass Effect 3 like Survival games. Missions for your character. Customize your character. Buy cool sports cars. Have material wealth that one could only dream about. It's a cross between MMORPG, and a video game sandbox. I would call it brilliant except for some major technical flaws that I will cover later.

THE BAD.

I'm a guy who hates some political correctness. There's one word I want removed from the American language. N... ger. It's racist. Yeah, I know black people use it. But even the late great comedian Richard Pryor stopped using it. But in GTA V, the African American characters constantly use it. And it's all over the rap "music" in the game.

The music is nondescript. In past Grand Theft Auto games you had some classic music. I mean in Grand Theft Auto IV, you had a jazz station that played John Coltrane, Duke Ellington and Charlie Parker! In GTA V, there are three rap stations. And I'm sorry, it's not music because there's no melody. The country station plays old time country but there's no new country. And the funk station plays comedian Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time." This is an example of good funk? Really?

Is this good funk?


GTA V brings back flying airplanes from San Andreas. Bad idea. In that game, the controls were miserable. There's not much improvement in GTA V. It may even be worse. Sometimes when you are trying to slow down your chopper, it will continue to accelerate, the same with fixed wing craft. And trying to land a plane is no fun. It's hard to gauge distance, and alignment in a third person video game, and that exists in GTA V. Then there's the real world physics imposed on unreal situations. One mission asks you to land your plane in the cargo hold of another plane. Unreal. But the game throws in real world turbulence. Ugh. Tough.

You can expect controversy in a GTA game but Rockstar goes a little too far with one mission. In it, you have to torture a terror suspect. That's after you rescue him from American intelligence for the FBI er... FIB. They turn the torture intoa minigame. You get your choices of torture. Pull a tooth with the sickening graphic of seeing the tooth wiggle until you remove it. Electrocution. Beating the poor guy in the groin with a wrench. And of course, there's waterboarding. What next? Taking poor hitchikers to a cannibal cult as the next meal? Um, sorry that's also in the game.

The technical problems with the online portion of the game are an unmitigated disaster. Problems I've encountered are constant lagging out or being thrown out of a game. There's difficulty connecting with other players. GTA V Online is the Obamacare of video games. Great ideas but horrible execution. It got so bad that during the first online special event for the game, Rockstar had to cancel it early for the technical glitches. During that weekend, I couldn't access any of the special jobs. Mass Effect 3 this ain't. I do note that Rockstar is working on the problems so in the future, the online multiplayer will get better.

THE UGLY.

Trevor. Physically, he's not pretty to look at. But it's his actions. Has there ever been a video game protagonist more revolting than Trevor? You might catch him murdering someone. Or puking. Taking people to be eaten by cannibals which by the way you don't have to do. Finishing up a session of masterbation. Drunk on the street. In his underwear or wearing a dress. Okay, that last one is funny.

That being said, Trevor does have a sense of honor. Hey, even thieves have rules. And he does have a sensitive side. There's a touching romance between him and his kidnap victim.

CONCLUSION.

Grand Theft Auto V is an epic action RPG. There are hundreds of hours of gameplay. More importantly, it'great fun. The grade is A.