The Huffington Post is reporting that some diesel pick up truck owners are intentionally dumping black exhaust filled with unburned fuel into the air as a political protest against President Obama's environmental policies. This protest is called "rolling coal." Of course, it's not healthy or good for the environment. It's the opposite.
Here's what one dealer of the kits that produce rolling coal had to say.
“I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” an unnamed Wisconsin seller of smoke stack kits told Slate's David Weigel, explaining some of the rationale behind the movement. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that. To get a single stack on my truck—that’s my way of giving them the finger. You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”
Yep, you heard that right. These conservatives hate Obama so much that whatever he's for, they're against. If he said he was for air to breathe, the conservatives would be against it. Just check out the line,"You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint" Well, screw you."
Voters of America, take note. These guys are the backbone of the Tea Party movement and hence, the foundation of the modern Republican Party. Vote for science. Don't vote for conservative Republicans.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Wolfenstein: The New Order Perks tips
Here are a couple of tips for completing Perks in the video game Wolfenstein: The New Order. First, you don't have to complete the perks through one play through of the game. You can reload the last checkpoints at will and get the Perks. For example, say you want to complete the AR (assault rifle) Magazine Perk. It requires eighty assault rifle kills from cover in primary fire mode. Okay, find a place where you can get a supply of soldiers to kill. I did this in Chapter One where a commander was next to a turret gun. I didn't kill him and let him call for support. Took cover against some sandbags and got about fifty that I needed to complete it.
Second, you might have to complete one Perk to get credit for another Perk. If you go to the Perk menu, you'll see where they require you to complete the prior Perk first. I had trouble with the Sentinel Perk. I then completed the Vaporize Perk then went back to grind the Sentinel one. I started to get credit for my efforts.
As for the Sentinel Perk, here's an easy way of getting it. This comes from Legend Coombsy.
Second, you might have to complete one Perk to get credit for another Perk. If you go to the Perk menu, you'll see where they require you to complete the prior Perk first. I had trouble with the Sentinel Perk. I then completed the Vaporize Perk then went back to grind the Sentinel one. I started to get credit for my efforts.
As for the Sentinel Perk, here's an easy way of getting it. This comes from Legend Coombsy.
The Cincinnati Reds 2014: Season over?
With the Cincinnati Reds just 2.5 games out of first and having taken four out of five from the lowly Chicago Cubs, is the Reds season over? How could I ask that? Here's why. The Reds biggest offensive threat in first baseman Joey Votto looks to be out indefinitely. Now second baseman Brandon Phillips is out for 8-12 weeks with torn ligaments. Oh, and today, starting pitcher Homer Bailey came out of the Cubs game early with a right knee injury. Want more? Centerfielder Billy Hamilton has tweaked his left hamstring. The baseball gods are not smiling at the Cincinnati Reds.
But seriously, can the Reds survive and thrive? Maybe. It requires good performances of the Reds bench to take over. At the start of the season, you couldn't ask me to pick Ramon Santigo out of a lineup. He's a utility infielder now with a chance to shine. Fans have regularly called on outfielder Chris Heisey to start. Today, he struck out four times. Not a good way to show you are going to help this team offensively. He's got a hole in his swing. But when he makes contact, he hits the ball hard. The Reds are going to have to look internally, i.e., the minor leagues and even any free agents wondering around out there. They can't give up their young minor league talent and mortgage their future. Regardless, there's little there to offer another team. In 1969, the New York Mets won the World Series. They were called the Miracle Mets. Maybe it's time for the Reds to offer their version of a baseball miracle. When it comes to this great sport, one can hope.
But seriously, can the Reds survive and thrive? Maybe. It requires good performances of the Reds bench to take over. At the start of the season, you couldn't ask me to pick Ramon Santigo out of a lineup. He's a utility infielder now with a chance to shine. Fans have regularly called on outfielder Chris Heisey to start. Today, he struck out four times. Not a good way to show you are going to help this team offensively. He's got a hole in his swing. But when he makes contact, he hits the ball hard. The Reds are going to have to look internally, i.e., the minor leagues and even any free agents wondering around out there. They can't give up their young minor league talent and mortgage their future. Regardless, there's little there to offer another team. In 1969, the New York Mets won the World Series. They were called the Miracle Mets. Maybe it's time for the Reds to offer their version of a baseball miracle. When it comes to this great sport, one can hope.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Grand Theft Auto V: Base Invaders made easy
Having trouble with the Grand Theft Auto V online mission, Base Invaders? Here are some tips that will turn this tough mission into one that you'll repeat over and over. Hey, you get $18,750 dollars for between five and ten minutes of work when the mission is set on hard. I'm going to make this bold statement. You should play Base Invaders solo.
The Basics.
The mission Base Invaders requires you to break into Fort Zancudo miltary base, destroy three Lazer jets and steal a Cargobob helicopter. The Cargobob is in a large hanger with an open door. But you have to get in Ron's airplane at Sandy Shores Airport as a requirement to highlight the Lazers. If you are spotted in the base, you will be attacked by infinite amounts of soldiers. Many of them wielding machine guns. Oh, there's also tanks that will spawn if you linger too long. Yikes.
Here are some important tips. One. You do not have to take Ron's airplane to Fort Zancudo. If it gets destroyed, the mission ends in failure. Two. You don't even have to hop into his plane at first. You can do that after you actually have stolen the Cargobob and flown it back to Sandy Shores Airport.
Here are three ways of doing this mission efficiently. Note that the last two are the fastest but are riskier. The beauty of Base Invaders is that it starts and ends at Sandy Shores airport so you can repeat the mission quickly via the pause menu. That means once you finish the mission, you can start it at the same place.
1. Stealth.
This method is mostly stealth but is the safest way. Okay, drive your car north of Sandy Shores airport, past the railroad tracks. Stop. Call for a Buzzard Chopper or if you don't have one, any owned chopper will do. Go back to Sandy Shores where the chopper spawns. Get in. Fly to Fort Zancudo. Fly to the west part of the base. There's a Lazer on this far side of the runway. Land by it. Get out and put a sticky bomb on it. Do not detonate yet.
Now fly to the grassy area in front of the hanger which houses the Cargobob. This is important. Do not fly north of the grassy area or step on the tarmac in front of the hanger. We will move in that direction but not yet. Land on the grassy area. Take out your heavy sniper. There are three soldiers on the second floor overlooking the Cargobob. One is directly behind it. Two are to your left if you're looking at the hanger from the south. One is standing near a coiled hose, which looks like a big wheel. The other is more towards the hanger entrance. To get him you may have to move east on the grass. Anyway snipe them with one shot each. With the heavy sniper, you don't need head shots.
Now get in your chopper and fly into hanger. Once you're there, the jig will be up. Soldiers start to charge into the hanger. But relax. The three soldiers who would have dealt you the major damage are dead. Get in the Cargobob and carefully fly it out of the hanger. Fly it to the hanger just east and land on the roof. Get out. Detonate the sticky bomb on the first Lazer. Now carefully move to the edge of the hanger. Look right, there's a Lazer. Take out your RPG and destroy it. Go to your left. There's the last Lazer. Same thing. Now get back into the Cargobob.
Take off from the roof and fly directly east at first to avoid the troops that are in front of the hanger. Fly back to Sandy Shores. Land on the helipad with the Cargobob on the horizontal bar of the "H". Get in Ron's plane and get out. Get in the Cargobob. The program will note that you've successfully delivered the Cargobob. Mission passed.
2. Fly a Buzzard into the hanger.
This method is similar to the stealth way but without the sniping. Hence, it's faster by about one to two minutes. Let me thank my friend iBlizzzy aka Brian for inspiring this one since he does it basically the same way. I've just tweaked it as to the location of where to destroy the Lazers.
This way starts out the same way as the stealth method. This time you should use a Buzzard Attack helicopter and make sure you are wearing body armor. Carry extra if you need to. Fly over to the fort. Fly to the Lazer further west. You'll easily get a lock on it since there's no troops around it. Destroy it with your rockets. Now fly over to the hanger with the Cargobob. If you get a lock on the second Lazer in front of the hanger, take the shot. But don't waste time. Fly into the hanger and this is important. Fly to the right of the Cargobob or east of the Cargobob.
Get out and climb into the Cargobob. We're not worried about the three soldiers this time. Note that while you are flying into the hanger if you get a lock on the soldier behind the Cargobob, take the shot. The explosion you cause is above the chopper. Anyway any soldiers in the hanger will hit you and the Cargobob hard. Don't panic but fly the Cargobob out of there. Again, land on the roof of the hanger east of the Cargobob's hanger. Get out and destroy the remaining Lazers. Fly east and away from the soldiers to Sandy Shores Airport.
Land at the helipad. Get in Ron's plane. Get back in the Cargobob. Mission passed. While it's faster, it's much hairier. You and the Cargobob will take damage.
3. Drive by.
I learned about his from the following video by Granty. I do it slightly different than he does but it's basically the same. Note this method requires precision driving and accuracy at throwing sticky bombs from a moving car.
First, have a fast car that's armored. Speaking of armor, make sure you are wearing body armor. And take some extra just in case. Okay, get in and out of Ron's plane to highlight the Lazers. You don't have to do this first but it makes the mission easier. Get in your car. Now mark a waypoint. I usually set it at the highway that runs under Fort Zancudo but you're going to have to set it close to that tunnel that runs under the base. Unlike Granty, I want to drive the main road that runs parallel to the river that flows south of the base. If you come too far from the north, you'll have to drive those slippery roads which may lead to needless accidents.
Most of you know of the jump that lies next to the north tunnel entrance. If you hit it right, your car will fly over the fence and land at the far end of the runway or one of the further west parts of the base. No sneaking around here. Drive over to the first Lazaer which is the further west and hit it with a sticky bomb. Detonate. Go east. Hit the second Lazar. Then drive and hit the last Lazer.
Drive into the hanger with Cargobob. Stay to the right or east of the chopper. Get in the Cargobob and fly out of there. You will get hit and hit a lot. Don't panic. Careful with the Cargobob but quickly fly it out of the hanger. Get altitude and fly it back to Sandy Shores airport. Mission passed.
A couple of things about the drive by method. This way can be the fastest path to completion. But it requires precision and fast driving. I die more times doing it this way then any other. You will get shot and hit. That's why I recommend a sports car with armor. The Zentorno is a good choice since you can't be shot from the rear in it.
Granty demonstrates the drive by method.
4. Conclusion.
Look, if you are a great driver then the drive by method may be for you. But it's only slightly faster than flying a Buzzard into the hanger. The safest way is to use the stealth method. Now note all three ways are done more easily solo. That's because if you play with randoms they can screw things up by alerting the troops too early. Plus you don't have to worry about the safety of a teammate.
With the increased difficulty of the mission Rooftop Rumble, GTA V players need to look at other ways to make fast money. The mission Base Invaders when done in one of the three methods above is one of the missions to earn money easily.
The Basics.
The mission Base Invaders requires you to break into Fort Zancudo miltary base, destroy three Lazer jets and steal a Cargobob helicopter. The Cargobob is in a large hanger with an open door. But you have to get in Ron's airplane at Sandy Shores Airport as a requirement to highlight the Lazers. If you are spotted in the base, you will be attacked by infinite amounts of soldiers. Many of them wielding machine guns. Oh, there's also tanks that will spawn if you linger too long. Yikes.
Here are some important tips. One. You do not have to take Ron's airplane to Fort Zancudo. If it gets destroyed, the mission ends in failure. Two. You don't even have to hop into his plane at first. You can do that after you actually have stolen the Cargobob and flown it back to Sandy Shores Airport.
Here are three ways of doing this mission efficiently. Note that the last two are the fastest but are riskier. The beauty of Base Invaders is that it starts and ends at Sandy Shores airport so you can repeat the mission quickly via the pause menu. That means once you finish the mission, you can start it at the same place.
1. Stealth.
This method is mostly stealth but is the safest way. Okay, drive your car north of Sandy Shores airport, past the railroad tracks. Stop. Call for a Buzzard Chopper or if you don't have one, any owned chopper will do. Go back to Sandy Shores where the chopper spawns. Get in. Fly to Fort Zancudo. Fly to the west part of the base. There's a Lazer on this far side of the runway. Land by it. Get out and put a sticky bomb on it. Do not detonate yet.
Now fly to the grassy area in front of the hanger which houses the Cargobob. This is important. Do not fly north of the grassy area or step on the tarmac in front of the hanger. We will move in that direction but not yet. Land on the grassy area. Take out your heavy sniper. There are three soldiers on the second floor overlooking the Cargobob. One is directly behind it. Two are to your left if you're looking at the hanger from the south. One is standing near a coiled hose, which looks like a big wheel. The other is more towards the hanger entrance. To get him you may have to move east on the grass. Anyway snipe them with one shot each. With the heavy sniper, you don't need head shots.
Now get in your chopper and fly into hanger. Once you're there, the jig will be up. Soldiers start to charge into the hanger. But relax. The three soldiers who would have dealt you the major damage are dead. Get in the Cargobob and carefully fly it out of the hanger. Fly it to the hanger just east and land on the roof. Get out. Detonate the sticky bomb on the first Lazer. Now carefully move to the edge of the hanger. Look right, there's a Lazer. Take out your RPG and destroy it. Go to your left. There's the last Lazer. Same thing. Now get back into the Cargobob.
Take off from the roof and fly directly east at first to avoid the troops that are in front of the hanger. Fly back to Sandy Shores. Land on the helipad with the Cargobob on the horizontal bar of the "H". Get in Ron's plane and get out. Get in the Cargobob. The program will note that you've successfully delivered the Cargobob. Mission passed.
2. Fly a Buzzard into the hanger.
This method is similar to the stealth way but without the sniping. Hence, it's faster by about one to two minutes. Let me thank my friend iBlizzzy aka Brian for inspiring this one since he does it basically the same way. I've just tweaked it as to the location of where to destroy the Lazers.
This way starts out the same way as the stealth method. This time you should use a Buzzard Attack helicopter and make sure you are wearing body armor. Carry extra if you need to. Fly over to the fort. Fly to the Lazer further west. You'll easily get a lock on it since there's no troops around it. Destroy it with your rockets. Now fly over to the hanger with the Cargobob. If you get a lock on the second Lazer in front of the hanger, take the shot. But don't waste time. Fly into the hanger and this is important. Fly to the right of the Cargobob or east of the Cargobob.
Get out and climb into the Cargobob. We're not worried about the three soldiers this time. Note that while you are flying into the hanger if you get a lock on the soldier behind the Cargobob, take the shot. The explosion you cause is above the chopper. Anyway any soldiers in the hanger will hit you and the Cargobob hard. Don't panic but fly the Cargobob out of there. Again, land on the roof of the hanger east of the Cargobob's hanger. Get out and destroy the remaining Lazers. Fly east and away from the soldiers to Sandy Shores Airport.
Land at the helipad. Get in Ron's plane. Get back in the Cargobob. Mission passed. While it's faster, it's much hairier. You and the Cargobob will take damage.
3. Drive by.
I learned about his from the following video by Granty. I do it slightly different than he does but it's basically the same. Note this method requires precision driving and accuracy at throwing sticky bombs from a moving car.
First, have a fast car that's armored. Speaking of armor, make sure you are wearing body armor. And take some extra just in case. Okay, get in and out of Ron's plane to highlight the Lazers. You don't have to do this first but it makes the mission easier. Get in your car. Now mark a waypoint. I usually set it at the highway that runs under Fort Zancudo but you're going to have to set it close to that tunnel that runs under the base. Unlike Granty, I want to drive the main road that runs parallel to the river that flows south of the base. If you come too far from the north, you'll have to drive those slippery roads which may lead to needless accidents.
Most of you know of the jump that lies next to the north tunnel entrance. If you hit it right, your car will fly over the fence and land at the far end of the runway or one of the further west parts of the base. No sneaking around here. Drive over to the first Lazaer which is the further west and hit it with a sticky bomb. Detonate. Go east. Hit the second Lazar. Then drive and hit the last Lazer.
Drive into the hanger with Cargobob. Stay to the right or east of the chopper. Get in the Cargobob and fly out of there. You will get hit and hit a lot. Don't panic. Careful with the Cargobob but quickly fly it out of the hanger. Get altitude and fly it back to Sandy Shores airport. Mission passed.
A couple of things about the drive by method. This way can be the fastest path to completion. But it requires precision and fast driving. I die more times doing it this way then any other. You will get shot and hit. That's why I recommend a sports car with armor. The Zentorno is a good choice since you can't be shot from the rear in it.
Granty demonstrates the drive by method.
4. Conclusion.
Look, if you are a great driver then the drive by method may be for you. But it's only slightly faster than flying a Buzzard into the hanger. The safest way is to use the stealth method. Now note all three ways are done more easily solo. That's because if you play with randoms they can screw things up by alerting the troops too early. Plus you don't have to worry about the safety of a teammate.
With the increased difficulty of the mission Rooftop Rumble, GTA V players need to look at other ways to make fast money. The mission Base Invaders when done in one of the three methods above is one of the missions to earn money easily.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Stephen Colbert on the mess in Iraq
Confused about the mess in Iraq? Need some satire with your bad news? Here's Stephen Colbert to explain it all for you.
Transformers: Age of Extinction 3D review
I like writing about film. There's a joy when I review a movie like The King's Speech (2010) and get to share my delight in the experience of cinematic greatness. But then there's the task of reviewing a Michael Bay movie. Okay, I loved The Rock (1996) but his recent ventures into the world of Transformers, a toy made into a movie franchise, leaves me wondering if his film career is about making movies for eight year olds. His recent film, Transformers: Age of Extinction, while not a family film, is not something that any thinking mature adult would like.
Transformers: Age of Extinction starts out on ancient earth. Dinosaurs are still alive. Then the aliens wipe them out. It looks like the aliens used a bomb to turn them into a metal like substance. Hold on. So a comet didn't kill the dinosaurs. Science was wrong? Maybe conservative Republicans are right. Global warming is a hoax. I kid. I kid the Republicans. But come on. Now we've got a movie that completely rewrites history without any factual basis.
We flash forward. it's four years after the Battle of Chicago depicted in Transformers: The Dark of the Mooon. (2011) Texas inventor Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) buys a beat up truck, who turns out to be Optimus Prime. You see after the heroic Autobots have gotten rid of the evil Decepticons, humans have started to hunt down them down. This effort is led by the CIA's Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) and James Savoy (Titus Welliver) who's actually the Smoke Monster. Okay, that Smoke Monster stuff is from the awful TV series, Lost. The reason why they are killing the surviving Autobots is because they believe that they are an alien threat. Meanwhile, Joshua Joyce, (Stanley Tucci) head of a corporation called KSI has created his own transformers made out of a metal called Trasnformium. It's a metal found also on Pandora guarded by giant blue aliens. Er... That last part is Avatar and that rock was called unobtanium. Sorry. But really. Can't screen writers come up with more imaginative names for exotic matter. I mean in Star Trek, they used dilithium crystals. Anyway, he's created a master robot called Galvatron using the evil Megatron's head. Hmmm. I wonder how that will turn out. Back to Cade. He and his seventeen year old daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) decide to help Optimus evade the CIA. Maybe they should just call Russian President Vladimir Putin and ask that he gives Optimus asylum.
Let me just cut to the chase. Transformers: Age of Extinction is one bad film. And I don't mean bad like using that term in the seventies to stand for something awesome. I mean bad as in not good. And the creation of this cinematic turd belongs to writer Ehren Kruger and director Michael Bay. Kruger has crafted one dumb screenplay. The stupidity of his writing is demonstrated by the actions and dialogue of his characters. Let's look at a few examples. Humans hunt down Autobots because they believe they are a threat but didn't they demonstrate the opposite buy saving humanity from the evil Decepticons? The President of the United States is so weak, he can't control a couple CIA agents? The best he can do is send some administration lackey to beg Attinger to behave. Is this a shot at Obama? Some characters are underwritten. When a comic relief character dies, we don't care. That's because there was nothing in the movie to endear us to hin. In another scene, Cade uses a small drone to scan the id badges of an employee of KSI so he can gain access to company's lab. And they act like it meant nothing. It stretches any logic to assume that the employee would not say to his boss, "Hey that drone scanned my id badge." Then there's the product placement. A Bud Light truck gets destroyed. Cade grabs a can of it and drinks it. It kind of reminds me of that scene in Wayne's World where Wayne and Garth turn to the camera using products they swore they would not endorse. Clip below. What about the dialogue? Cade demands Savoy show a warrant when they search his ranch. Savoy utters this gem. "My face is my warrant." Joyce describes the CIA's actions as "icky."
I don't know how one can top the stink of this movie from the screenplay but director Michael Bay has. First, there's a creep factor. The character of Tessa is seventeen. Bay stages one of his famous T & A shots using one of Tessa's butt in the foreground. Then to explain that it's okay for her to have sexual relations with a man of twenty, they bring out Texas' "Romeo and Juliet" laws. Shakespeare, this ain't. But maybe this is an appeal to the Duck Dynasty crowd, as in Phil Robertson's advice on marrying teenagers. Second, as usual Bay makes Transformers: Age of Extinction like he does many of his movies. They're made for teenagers with ADHD. There are needless swooping camera shots, fast cutting, hand-held camera shots to show what should already be exciting. Of course, with Bay, you got to blow things up. And if you like explosions, you won't be disappointed. Bay has now forgone setting up action scenes. Instead, this movie is a series of money shots. For example, Autobot Hound must make a last stand against a group of Decepticons. We don't get a scene of fifty Decepticons converging on this lone Autobot. Bay merely cuts to many scenes of Hound fighting. It's also one loud movie and by that I mean visually loud. It's like a visual depiction of loud, heavy metal rock. At one hundred and sixty five minutes, the movie pounds you into your seat until you swear you will never watch another summer action movie again.
As for the acting performances, I can't say much. The actors are given dumb dialogue to utter and they do it well. But it's still stupid. Tessa is written as a whiny teenager. Yeah, during one scene, where she's crawling on a wire, hundreds of feet above the ground, I was rooting for her to fall. If there's one good thing about this movie, it's Stanley Tucci. He knows the movie is badly written and he hams it up. He did make me smile.
If you're going to see this piece of cinematic feces, view it in 3D. Bay shot some of it in native 3D with IMAX 3D cameras, and converted other parts he shot in 2D. The native 3D scenes are obvious. They have depth. Objects such as ships pop off the screen. Bay is not subtle about using 3D and that's a good thing. Live actions scenes that were shot in 2D don't have that effect. Still, there's enough native 3D to give you your money's worth.
Transformers: Age of Extinction is not as dumb as its predecessor, Transformers: Dark of the Moon. But that's like saying Ed Woods's Glen or Glenda is better than his Plan 9 from Outer Space. It's still pretty stupid. The grade is D Plus.
Transformers: Age of Extinction starts out on ancient earth. Dinosaurs are still alive. Then the aliens wipe them out. It looks like the aliens used a bomb to turn them into a metal like substance. Hold on. So a comet didn't kill the dinosaurs. Science was wrong? Maybe conservative Republicans are right. Global warming is a hoax. I kid. I kid the Republicans. But come on. Now we've got a movie that completely rewrites history without any factual basis.
We flash forward. it's four years after the Battle of Chicago depicted in Transformers: The Dark of the Mooon. (2011) Texas inventor Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) buys a beat up truck, who turns out to be Optimus Prime. You see after the heroic Autobots have gotten rid of the evil Decepticons, humans have started to hunt down them down. This effort is led by the CIA's Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) and James Savoy (Titus Welliver) who's actually the Smoke Monster. Okay, that Smoke Monster stuff is from the awful TV series, Lost. The reason why they are killing the surviving Autobots is because they believe that they are an alien threat. Meanwhile, Joshua Joyce, (Stanley Tucci) head of a corporation called KSI has created his own transformers made out of a metal called Trasnformium. It's a metal found also on Pandora guarded by giant blue aliens. Er... That last part is Avatar and that rock was called unobtanium. Sorry. But really. Can't screen writers come up with more imaginative names for exotic matter. I mean in Star Trek, they used dilithium crystals. Anyway, he's created a master robot called Galvatron using the evil Megatron's head. Hmmm. I wonder how that will turn out. Back to Cade. He and his seventeen year old daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) decide to help Optimus evade the CIA. Maybe they should just call Russian President Vladimir Putin and ask that he gives Optimus asylum.
Let me just cut to the chase. Transformers: Age of Extinction is one bad film. And I don't mean bad like using that term in the seventies to stand for something awesome. I mean bad as in not good. And the creation of this cinematic turd belongs to writer Ehren Kruger and director Michael Bay. Kruger has crafted one dumb screenplay. The stupidity of his writing is demonstrated by the actions and dialogue of his characters. Let's look at a few examples. Humans hunt down Autobots because they believe they are a threat but didn't they demonstrate the opposite buy saving humanity from the evil Decepticons? The President of the United States is so weak, he can't control a couple CIA agents? The best he can do is send some administration lackey to beg Attinger to behave. Is this a shot at Obama? Some characters are underwritten. When a comic relief character dies, we don't care. That's because there was nothing in the movie to endear us to hin. In another scene, Cade uses a small drone to scan the id badges of an employee of KSI so he can gain access to company's lab. And they act like it meant nothing. It stretches any logic to assume that the employee would not say to his boss, "Hey that drone scanned my id badge." Then there's the product placement. A Bud Light truck gets destroyed. Cade grabs a can of it and drinks it. It kind of reminds me of that scene in Wayne's World where Wayne and Garth turn to the camera using products they swore they would not endorse. Clip below. What about the dialogue? Cade demands Savoy show a warrant when they search his ranch. Savoy utters this gem. "My face is my warrant." Joyce describes the CIA's actions as "icky."
I don't know how one can top the stink of this movie from the screenplay but director Michael Bay has. First, there's a creep factor. The character of Tessa is seventeen. Bay stages one of his famous T & A shots using one of Tessa's butt in the foreground. Then to explain that it's okay for her to have sexual relations with a man of twenty, they bring out Texas' "Romeo and Juliet" laws. Shakespeare, this ain't. But maybe this is an appeal to the Duck Dynasty crowd, as in Phil Robertson's advice on marrying teenagers. Second, as usual Bay makes Transformers: Age of Extinction like he does many of his movies. They're made for teenagers with ADHD. There are needless swooping camera shots, fast cutting, hand-held camera shots to show what should already be exciting. Of course, with Bay, you got to blow things up. And if you like explosions, you won't be disappointed. Bay has now forgone setting up action scenes. Instead, this movie is a series of money shots. For example, Autobot Hound must make a last stand against a group of Decepticons. We don't get a scene of fifty Decepticons converging on this lone Autobot. Bay merely cuts to many scenes of Hound fighting. It's also one loud movie and by that I mean visually loud. It's like a visual depiction of loud, heavy metal rock. At one hundred and sixty five minutes, the movie pounds you into your seat until you swear you will never watch another summer action movie again.
As for the acting performances, I can't say much. The actors are given dumb dialogue to utter and they do it well. But it's still stupid. Tessa is written as a whiny teenager. Yeah, during one scene, where she's crawling on a wire, hundreds of feet above the ground, I was rooting for her to fall. If there's one good thing about this movie, it's Stanley Tucci. He knows the movie is badly written and he hams it up. He did make me smile.
If you're going to see this piece of cinematic feces, view it in 3D. Bay shot some of it in native 3D with IMAX 3D cameras, and converted other parts he shot in 2D. The native 3D scenes are obvious. They have depth. Objects such as ships pop off the screen. Bay is not subtle about using 3D and that's a good thing. Live actions scenes that were shot in 2D don't have that effect. Still, there's enough native 3D to give you your money's worth.
Transformers: Age of Extinction is not as dumb as its predecessor, Transformers: Dark of the Moon. But that's like saying Ed Woods's Glen or Glenda is better than his Plan 9 from Outer Space. It's still pretty stupid. The grade is D Plus.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
How to Train Your Dragon 2 3D review
I loved the first How to Train Your Dragon (2010). It was also a financial and critical success. The former kind of success usually guarantees one thing in Hollywood. A sequel. Just released is How to Train Your Dragon 2. The question then becomes is the sequel as good as its predecessor?
How to Train Your Dragon 2 starts out where the last movie left off. The Viking village of Berk is now integrated with dragons. The Vikings ride the dragons for sport and take care of them. Stoick, (Gerard Butler), Berk's chief, wants Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) to take over as leader the village. He also wants Hiccup to marry Astrid. (America Ferrera) Hiccup would rather explore he world with his Night Fury Dragon, Toothless. While riding their dragons, Astrid and Hiccup are captured by Eret (Kit Harrington) He's under the employment of Drago Bludvist (Djimon Hounsou), a ruthless dragon hunter. Astrid and Hiccup escape to warn Stoick who puts the town on war footing. Hiccup leaves to find Drago in order to negotiate a peace. During his journey, he's captured by the mysterious Valka (Cate Blanchett), another dragon rider.
One of the the good things about this film are the performances of the actors. All the voice acting is delivered with sincerity and warmth. Jay Baruchel is able to subdue his annoying nasal voice to portray a more mature young man. Gerard Butler is now a man whose heart has changed in his relations with his son and dragons. America Ferrera's Astrid is charming. She's a strong woman who in her own right is a leader. Djimon Hounsou is unrecognizable as Drago. He's power hungry villain. And Cate Blanchett is again marvelous as the dragon rider Valka whose life is full of secrets.
Dean DeBlois returns to write the screenplay and direct. He wisely uses flashbacks to explain plot points. And under his direction, the movie is able to make exaggerated characters feel real. The animation is spectacular whether it's capturing flying a dragon or Valka's graceful, yet mysterious moves. The movie is a little cold until we meet Valka. Then once her secrets are revealed, How to Train Your Dragon 2 takes flight. However, with most sequels, there's a the tendency to go bigger. That's not always better. This film is a little on the bloated side in the third act. This fat tends to obscure the wonderment of flying dragons. Thankfully, composer John Powell returns with his soaring themes from first film.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 was filmed in 3D with good results. Like its predecessor, the 3D process was well thought out. DeBlois uses the effect to emphasize landscapes and distance shots. The result is a film with real depth. My only problem is that he seems to shy away from shots that pop or push out. Those shots can often make the audience feel as if there's an object in the theater. Still, the movie is worth the extra money you pay to see it in 3D.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 is a worthy follow up to the first movie. It might get a little too busy at times, but the return of Hiccup and Toothless is more than welcome. The grade is B Plus.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 starts out where the last movie left off. The Viking village of Berk is now integrated with dragons. The Vikings ride the dragons for sport and take care of them. Stoick, (Gerard Butler), Berk's chief, wants Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) to take over as leader the village. He also wants Hiccup to marry Astrid. (America Ferrera) Hiccup would rather explore he world with his Night Fury Dragon, Toothless. While riding their dragons, Astrid and Hiccup are captured by Eret (Kit Harrington) He's under the employment of Drago Bludvist (Djimon Hounsou), a ruthless dragon hunter. Astrid and Hiccup escape to warn Stoick who puts the town on war footing. Hiccup leaves to find Drago in order to negotiate a peace. During his journey, he's captured by the mysterious Valka (Cate Blanchett), another dragon rider.
One of the the good things about this film are the performances of the actors. All the voice acting is delivered with sincerity and warmth. Jay Baruchel is able to subdue his annoying nasal voice to portray a more mature young man. Gerard Butler is now a man whose heart has changed in his relations with his son and dragons. America Ferrera's Astrid is charming. She's a strong woman who in her own right is a leader. Djimon Hounsou is unrecognizable as Drago. He's power hungry villain. And Cate Blanchett is again marvelous as the dragon rider Valka whose life is full of secrets.
Dean DeBlois returns to write the screenplay and direct. He wisely uses flashbacks to explain plot points. And under his direction, the movie is able to make exaggerated characters feel real. The animation is spectacular whether it's capturing flying a dragon or Valka's graceful, yet mysterious moves. The movie is a little cold until we meet Valka. Then once her secrets are revealed, How to Train Your Dragon 2 takes flight. However, with most sequels, there's a the tendency to go bigger. That's not always better. This film is a little on the bloated side in the third act. This fat tends to obscure the wonderment of flying dragons. Thankfully, composer John Powell returns with his soaring themes from first film.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 was filmed in 3D with good results. Like its predecessor, the 3D process was well thought out. DeBlois uses the effect to emphasize landscapes and distance shots. The result is a film with real depth. My only problem is that he seems to shy away from shots that pop or push out. Those shots can often make the audience feel as if there's an object in the theater. Still, the movie is worth the extra money you pay to see it in 3D.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 is a worthy follow up to the first movie. It might get a little too busy at times, but the return of Hiccup and Toothless is more than welcome. The grade is B Plus.
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